Empty Nest Syndrome(4 Posts)
Hi I'm in not sure if I'm posting in the right category .Im a long time lurker but haven't posted before.
I'm a single parent mother of two girls 23 and 19. oldest moved out a couple of years ago.Youngest is preparing to go to uni in September .
I thought I was ok with daughter leaving as I work full time and go on girly holidays with my friends.But the nearer it is getting I'm starting to dread it and get emotional.
Does it get easier and do you manage to get over it ?
My son left seven years ago to go to uni and daughter is heading that way.
I am going to make a concerted effort to build a new life because harking back to the past can be quite painful and really isn't going anywhere. Like you, I'm not sure how it is going to feel when they have both gone - but the research is very positive - even people who are dreading it mostly report quite enjoying getting their own life back. Over half of empty nesters feel more positive.
However, I know it isn't easy and this isn't talked about enough. I remember one of my uni lecturers turning up genuinely heartbroken the day her son left home and we comforted her despite us all being too young to understand what she was going through. I remember thinking then 'Why don't people talk about this?'
I know it must be on the brink of that for you now and I hope it goes well - try a holiday if you can. This seems to be the advice of successful empty nesters.
Think of the positives and keep thinking it!
I think even if you were in a relationship you would go through this pain.I recally DD moving to Uni, logically I knew it was happening so thought I had prepared mentally but the loss I felt when I left her in halls was signifant.I would go into her room just to be around her.
In a few weeks it had eased, especially as she was having such a fab time.It is a major transition time and I don't think we prepare women for it as it's also often at a hormonal change time for us.
It's will get better, just focus on the wonderful life your dc will have and plan someone special for you.
Totally understand your feelings and am worried how I am going to cope when DD goes off to Uni this weekend. We've always been very close (I also have 3 sons - so we stuck together for moral support!) and have especially relied on each other after divorce in 2012.
I've not found another partner - and feel too tired with house and work and kids to even bother looking, and the thought of being left with two uncommunicative 17 year old boys is not filling me with joy.
Eldest son lives with his father). Part of my anxiety is I know concern that she will settle in well, meet new friends and be happy ( this concern has caused her tears this week...) and I know that when I am sure she is happy I'll feel a lot better myself. Her Uni is only 1 hours drive away so not impossible to reach even on a midweek dash...
I am desperately hoping that I can find something to fill my time with, well not so much time as emotions.... How often can one go to the gym, run round the park and work in the garden ...?? As always in these situations I am sure it is the companionship of other women going through the same thing that will the best support... work on your network of girlfriends I think is the best advice to myself and possibly others.
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