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Ex changes access dates

(9 Posts)
Louw12345 Wed 20-Jul-16 13:53:29

Ok so he's only been seeing them again over the past 3 weeks and wants to change this Sunday or next Saturday coz of work.
I have allowed this to happen because he said it's for work. But I know if this was he other way round like I had to stay late a college and I asked him to pick the kids up he would say no. ( I know this coz I asked last year). Obviously iv got to gibe him the benefit of doubt. But it's so early to even think about changing the routine. By September he will have full weekends every other weekend what do I do if he wants to change it then coz of work. He has had everything his own way for 13 years and yes I know it's work which means money but not for my kids to benefit from more so he and his gf can sit in the pub every day of the week.
Tbh I feel annoyed with myself for saying yes, but I would also feel bad for saying no. I know my ex give him and inch and he will take a mile and iv just walked inot what could be the worst thing iv done as he will (I know he will) try and change it again at some point.
How do I stop this feeling of thinking iv done wrong by letting him change the days

RandomMess Wed 20-Jul-16 13:56:22

It sounds like there is a long history so I think I would actually say "no"

What his job like - does he have a rota in advance, or do they expect him to swap days as and when at short notice?

Louw12345 Wed 20-Jul-16 14:17:47

Iv already said yes now so can't chang it. My friend said it's for work and he hasn't canceled he's making his days up. But my other friend said it's his day his responsibilty to sort child care on his days.

Hes a labourer and I know sometimes he works Saturdays never known him to do a Sunday. But with the past of him not seeing his kids at all I guess I'm wondering if he's actually going out instead.

He choose his days and times and now he wants to change it.

Louw12345 Wed 20-Jul-16 14:20:10

Thing is this is my Sunday to myself I had plans now they are canceled. I sound spoilt and yes they are my kids to. But I spend every day with them and the summer holidays are the hardest. I feel selfish thinking such a way

Lonecatwithkitten Wed 20-Jul-16 14:50:19

I am terribly sorry that doesn't work for me is your answer over and over again.

Louw12345 Wed 20-Jul-16 15:04:48

Sorry I don't understand what you mean?

Louw12345 Wed 20-Jul-16 18:42:17

Ohhh I get you now duh haha. I know I won't do it again now. Took me 8 months to stand my ground and now I'm going back to how u was before.

RandomMess Wed 20-Jul-16 18:54:59

Good luck I think you do need to make a stand and that phrase

"That doesn't work for us" is a good one.

No sorry, no "me" wink

Louw12345 Wed 20-Jul-16 22:25:19

I even rang the child mediation adviser to help me but she said she can't help me. 3 weeks in though changing the plans. I defo will stay firm next time

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