For the last 3 years I've been a lone parent (age 44) to 2DCs (age 3 and 8) and working full time. It's been hard work but I've always enjoyed working and still am very ambitious.
But the reality is my ambition is pointless because I don't feel I can go any further work-wise. Already I spend a lot of evenings and weekends catching up on work and couldn't cope with a greater workload or responsibility or time commitment or evenings away, despite the fact that I'd love a more senior role. And anyway....I have no time for networking, little opportunities for professional development - my one course in London was a nightmare to even coordinate as getting into London on time and back (I'm in the home counties) was almost impossible. A job in London would be impossible too.
Just recently I had to turn down a role because of the location - I literally couldn't work out drop offs/pickups in the morning/evening.... what a depressing reason to turn down an opportunity!
But that's the reality. And the fact is that I currently run such a carefully coordinated ship, the thought of leaving my role and messing with that balance is scary - so I feel stuck in my current role.
It's hard for me to accept that my career really is going to have to take such a backseat over the next 10 years and possibly forever. I don't want to sound ungrateful - I love my children and they are my priority but find it hard that I've having to shelve my career dreams.
Have others had a similar experience and how they dealt with it or learned to accept it?
Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.
Lone parents
Being a lone parent is torpedo-ing my career. Anyone else?
windygallows · 17/07/2016 19:41
Yes me! Lone parent to dd1 for ten years and has to take a back seat quite a few times because of CC. Watching other people go for things you know you are more suitable and better at is soul distroying. Then when dd was older I really went for it and climbed a little higher and was gradually getting where I needed/wanted to be. Then I met Dh and went and bloody started again with dd2.
I eventually gave it all up due to CC just being too expensive for full time and awkward hours.
Women give a lot of things up. There is always a catch to life.
My very good friend forged on with her career, big house fab wage and car and is know knocking 40, no bloke and no sight of any kids - which she is getting in a bit of a panic over.
I think unless you are super rich and can afford nannies ect.. Women always miss out on one or the other.
Drink 
Yep. I had children young and have been a lone parent for most of that time. Worked min wage jobs. I went back to college to get a degree and had to drop out in year 2 due to the distance/time commitment/unable to work as well. So i'm back to the min wage job that fits around school hours. It'll have to do until they dont need to be picked up from anywhere or looked after. I wont tell you how their father's career/life looks 
I sympathise. Unfortunately it may well be the case, not just for lone parents but for anyone who has to juggle a career with childcare. I'm not a lone parent but because of DHs job I do have to do pick-ups at least 3 days per week. and cannot overlap working hours with his outside childcare provision times, so there are lots of career development opps I have not been able to take. On the positive side it definitely does get easier in some ways as they get bigger, so for me things are starting to improve again so hopefully it may prove to be more of an interlude than a full stop.
Oh yes, I left my abusive husband 4 years ago when my children were 2 and 4. He subsequently depleted our only marital asset (business) and went bankrupt (which to be fair he said to me the week I left but I never thought he would be that vindictive) so got a job, but now he's refusing to see them more than every other weekend and definitely can't pick them up from school or have them on holidays - he lives one mile away so he is now climbing his way back to solvency as a DINKY aided by his new wife and I am stuck in a job that fits round school hours.... and the crappy pay that comes with it..
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