Judgemental health vistor(9 Posts)
So I may be over-sensitive I'm not completely sure. But I can't help but feel judge by my local health vistor.
Dd was discharged ten days free birth on her first hv appointment, since then I have moved so naturally a hv came out to introduce herself.
My dd is a total klutz and is either tripping or falling over anything (I have baby proofed the house). She's 12 months but had been at a&e 4 times because she has banned her head. But please bare in my once was with a toy, once whilst learning to crawl and twice since learning to walk. Each time I have taken her to a&e as I'm abit of a panicker and just wanted the professionals to make sure was ok. So yesterday dd was in a playpen with her cousin who is two weeks younger than herself, dd fell onto cousin whilst playing with a toy. Her two bottom teeth her attached her gum. I called the doctors immediately as she was bleeding not so much, the doctor advised a trip to a&e.
Thankfully dd is fine and was just a little scratch, we were discharged.
Today I get a voicemail from the hv saying they have put me on a monthly family contact thing. Didn't really explain much and had told me to come to the clinic with dd and that I will also be having a home visit.
I'm at a loss for words, I can't help but thinks they think I have purposely allowed my child to get hurt or I don't pay enough attention to stop her getting hurt. I'm now at the point were if dd fell again I would be nervous to take her to a&e as if fear what the hv are going to say.
I love my dd so much, and can't help but feel judge. Esp as she said "oh your a single parent, that must be hard" on the phone. YES, it's hard, but does that mean I can't take care of my dd, of course not.
Sorry just really felt the need to rant, wish me luck for my clinic appointment.
Good luck. I would assume it's more of a formality... They need to be seen to be doing something, especially with all the cases they miss...
Trips to A&E every 3 months on average will make people sit up and take notice.
Just explain to your hv that you are a worrier and probably over react.
She will soon see you are coping and everything is fine.
I completely agree as to why it may make them a bit concerned, but I attend every child social class with them weekly and before any of the a&e trips. I expressed my worry to them about me over panicking, they explained to me that it was a good sign I worry so much and that they know I was doing great. But it's like a sudden light switch and I can't help but feel like I'm being cornered. I suppose it doesn't help that my local a&e is two roads behind me.
It may be simply they feel you need extra support due to anxiety..
As LP you don't have the partner to contact ask advice.
Take the support hey are offering.
It's probably an automatic thing. Go to A&E a certain number of times and it triggers this. They may think you are anxious and need support.
Being a single parent is hard though surely? Perhaps she was just trying to acknowledge that and how well you are doing?
It is automatic, they are obliged to follow up accident reports and especially hospital visits
I would advise making use of your local pharmacy, minor injuries unit, GP, GP nurse or 111 for advice in future - going to A&E for minor injuries does seem extreme. I think it's about balance really and they are all there to help you
Of course single parenting can be hard but so can parenting with both parents involved. I have such an amazin support system with family living within the same road. So I don't see why it's irrelevant. And I really don't see why I should be "looked" at differently because I'm a single parent, personally that has nothing to do with my parenting.
And myusername ... Before I've gone to a&e each time I have contacted either my go or 101. As my gp is easier 20min drive and the closest one to me, they tend to say a&e.
I completely agree about me being anxious, the hv said that I'm not unhealthy anxious I'm just the perfect amount, and when I see them in the clinic yesterday they never mentioned a single thing so I thought it was best I did.
I told them how they was making me feel and how if my child hurt herself and I didn't take her go or hosp I would be judged for that but because I do I'm judged for that, feel like I can't win.
It's standard practice. Take any support on offer.
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