Long story short I'm a single mum transitioning from ExP's income to benefits after we broke up and he moved out. Naturally it's always messier than that, but you get the idea.
The agreement was that until benefits and such kick in, he would continue to pay all of the day to day living expenses and bills - he offered a fairly generous amount in fact, for two reasons. One because I needed to replace some furniture he was taking and make some home improvements, and second because he made me promise I'd pay it all back when I had my income sorted, so it's hardly charity. It's also worth pointing out that his monthly income minus his monthly expenses, including paying mine and our daughters expenses, still leaves him with a few hundred ££'s per month of just casual play money, and he indulges himself often. That's fine, it's his money - but he's not exactly hard up because of our arrangement.
So, we ended up baby-sitting a friends rabbit for a few days, and ran out of a lot of the supplies we needed, so I bought more. When the rabbit returned, I was left with a great yearning to get another pet - our last rabbit died a couple of years ago and I didn't replace it as I was working full time and hardly got to spend time with it - and a full assortment of pet supplies. I ended up thinking, screw it - I wriggled a little money from various parts of my budget and I bought a rabbit that DD can grow up with.
Well, her dad went nuts, and to cut out all of the lectures and the shouting at me for being irresponsible and various other things, he finally concluded that he was going to stop loaning us money since I was clearly misspending it. Well, this was a few days ago, and we're now out of baby formula and on our last couple of ££'s of electricity (it's a pre-paid meter). I returned the rabbit to try and keep the peace, but he's being pretty ruthless. It's spread into other areas as well - he invites himself into the house when he has no business being here, won't leave when he's asked to, will literally follow me around the house verbally attacking me for things we disagree on even if I'm crying and telling him I don't want to talk to him, he'll try and control my friends...basically he's being a rather unpleasant person at the moment, all over a bloody rabbit.
I get that pets are optional not necessary and there's probably going to be varying opinions on whether or not it was a great way to spend £30 that would have been otherwise allocated to decorating and fixing up the garden, but leaving us without food and electricity seems a little harsh. I have no family I can go to for support - something else he knows well - and he's now trying to use my financial misappropriation as legal evidence that I can't take care of my daughter and threatening to take me to court and apply for full custody.
There's two sides to every story and I'm at least partially to blame for his ire but...seriously? I'm not being that unreasonable to be annoyed by this am I?
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AIBU to be furious at my daughters father?
15 replies
Einna88 · 11/06/2016 13:56
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