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Relocating to Northern Ireland with a 4 year old

(6 Posts)
MillyMolly87 Thu 09-Jun-16 13:14:00

Hi, this is my first ever post so hello!
I'm 29 and a single mum living in north wales. My daughter is 4 and will be starting full time school in September. My parents help out a lot and I have a lovely group of friends who also help out.

Recently I have been considering a move to Northern Ireland to be involved with the Vineyard church on the north coast. I have only been there once before (in May this year) and absolutely love it. I met some amazing people and feel that I'm really being drawn to the area for reasons unknown to myself.

My parents were initially excited for me but have since raised there concerns for my welfare as they are worried I will be too much in my own away from the support network I have over here. I will be involved with the church and there are around 1500 people that go so there is already a ready made community to get stuck into but making connections and trusting people will take a bit of time.

My dad thinks I'm rushing things despite thinking seriously about this for the past 6 months and having thought about it a few years ago too. I'm hoping to move in December this year to allow my daughter to have two terms in the new reception class before she starts year 1 which I've heard is a bigger transition than starting reception.

Am I being selfish and foolish in moving? My parents have such a big involvement in our lives and look after my daughter several times a week but this will reduce to a visit every couple of months (plus face time and phone calls).

I just feel that if i stay here where I grew up and lived nearly all my life, I'll just keep plodding on without any real motivation or desire to better myself and just be stuck. Of course I will miss so many people but I really feel like God is telling me I need to do this. I get that a lot of people here won't get the whole God thing but id appreciate your thoughts!
Thank you smile

Lonecatwithkitten Thu 09-Jun-16 15:51:54

I am a single parent who lives away from my family ( here when married). It is incredibly hard without family support. Friends are great, but they are not the same. My parents live several hours away, but can get here in a morning if necessary.
From what I understand there are lots of Vineyard Churches is there one close to where you are now which you could attend now?
I would encourage you to think long and hard about this move.

MillyMolly87 Thu 09-Jun-16 17:20:56

Thank you, yes I go to a vineyard church in Chester and it's great but as a new church there aren't the opportunities the causeway coast one has.

I feel like if I don't move I will always be stuck here as my parents help my grandma a lot and wouldn't move at the moment. Family is so important to me but I know how my mum felt being trapped in the same area to look after her parents and as much as I love my parents and of course would help them if and when I can I don't want to stop living my life too. It may seem really selfish but I guess I've seen how's it's made my mum feel too.

I'm going for another visit in July so will have another good think while I'm there. Thank you for your advice X

Lelloteddy Sat 11-Jun-16 12:34:32

Is your daughters father involved in her life?

PotteringAlong Sat 11-Jun-16 12:41:03

Paying all the childcare costs you don't have at the moment?
DD's father?
I think you need something a bit more concrete than God is calling me because unless he's paying the bills too it's not going to work.

Drquin Sat 11-Jun-16 12:48:41

It's not the most ridiculous idea anyone's ever had.
I guess a lot depends on what all you mean by "being involved with" the church, and what opportunities you think a move to NI (lovely place that it is) will offer that you don't have now.

With my practical hat on, do you need to work ..... Do you need to line that up first? Or will the church involvement be the driver? Unless "being involved" means an actual job (assuming you're not otherwise financially sorted), personally I'd be looking for a job first somewhere else if I fancied a move. But that's just me.

If you're the type of person to get out & about and meet folk, you'll probably build up a new support network'll not be instant., but again many other folk manage so it's not insurmountable.

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