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How do i deal with behaviour from DCs after visits to Ex? Fed up :(

(3 Posts)
snowgirl29 Mon 11-Apr-16 23:19:50

I'm really struggling to keep a lid on things at the moment.
I have a 10yo DD and a 7yo DC.
Me and Ex been separated 4yrs now.
He has scattered contact with them because of his work hours. But the last few times they've come back from his, their behaviour has been atrocious. I have recently just come out of hospital after a really bad chest infection that knocked me for six. The DCs were at the Exs. I was home three hours before he was round and dropped them off because he'd a)got work in the morning and b) had enough hmm (7yo is under a Paed for behavioural problems).
I don't know if it's just me and a short fuse as in no patience but they have literally not stopped bickering / arguing / fighting since I got them back.
I'd just gone to go to bed to find DD had left her tablet on charge under her bed. I woke her up by trying to take it out so it didn't overheat. And heard her say "you cant reach because you're fat".
I promptly said that's not very nice and no tv then etc for what she said. Cue her screaming blue murder at this time of night.
Ive tried everything discipline wise. I don't know what else to do. Sick of it being a constant battle with us all the time and I really don't need it.
I don't have a lot of family support, normally I muddle on but just exhausted i think from recent events.
How would you all deal with it? Is there anything I can / should do differently?

apart from moving to Australia out the way of knobby ex.

snowgirl29 Mon 11-Apr-16 23:29:34

This is not the first time by the way. Dd has often come home and used bad language against me etc.
Ive done the whole no sweets/tablet/programmes thing before. It washed over her how.
Ds just copies what she says or what he hears Ex say.
How do you all cope / deal with this ? Especially when you've just been ill.

cestlavielife Wed 13-Apr-16 20:19:20

Ignore if they acting out because how ex is
Yes tell her calmly it s not nice then walk put. Save consequences for big issues. You just setting up battles.
You need to get then to talk to you about what's going on when they see ex and why they come back hitting out.
Behaviour is communication ..what's going on when they see ex?

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