I really want to get out and have a social life of some sort but don't know where to start.
I have 100% custody of my DD who is 2 (her dad lives a long way away), I work 4 long days a week in a city but have to leave straight after work to get home to look after DD. I'm not in touch with any family. I know some other mums but they are all in couples and already have social lives, and they're not really people I would hang out with if we didn't have kids - we just have nothing in common and I already get left out of all the conversations about houses, holidays and things that couples/families do as I have nothing to contribute. I haven't been out, anywhere, in about 3 years, not even to a social gathering, bar or the cinema or anywhere grown up, whereyou can't take a baby/toddler. I would go on a date just to go somewhere, but I feel like I I have no interests outside the house (so, netflix and the internet), so I feel boring and like my conversation skills are limited. Have never had a babysitter, don't even know where I would go if I had one. And it would have to be worth the expense in a way, to pay for a babysitter plus going out. Have looked for meetup groups because when I was in the South East those were great, but where I am now (rural east midlands) they don't seem to have much of a following. Ideally I want to do something fun, like drinking dancing. I know I can't just be spontaneous, it has to be planned, but.. where do I go?
I'm in my early 30s but it's making me feel old, and sad, and lonely. All I do is work, clean the house, look after DD. Any ideas on how I can revive my life?
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how to get out and have a life again with 100% custody?
snugglybear · 05/04/2016 20:17
Hi snuggly I'm a single Mum in the same location (S Derbyshire) as you to a 3 your old little boy. His father (my exH) has no involvement at all (his choice) so I have 100% custody, plus I also work. My only real adult time is at work and I do often get lonely, but feel so knackered most of the time that I don't do anything about it. I keep thinking 'Wait till he gets to School and it'll be easier' but I think that might also be a way of putting it off,..........
I haven't been to one of the Gingerbread meet ups yet, perhaps it's something we could do together at some point?
I'll try to PM you. 
A bit random but what about...
Badminton? Its my go-to answer 
. It a fun game that's easy to play even if you are not sporty and a lot of leisure Centres have mixed ability drop in sessions. I think it's an casual way to socialize without having to talk too much IYSWIM - some groups might be a bit old but lots of younger people play too.
I'm sure there are other sports that would fit the bill too.
Wow, I had just assumed once I stopped paying £1000 per month for nursery I would get that back (except the summer of course).. maybe it's not to be
BrandNew - Leisure Centre charges £4/hour for the creche, plus driving to/from it would be a few pounds, plus parking £3, plus gym entry or class another £5-10 (£10 for non gym members, per session). Maybe I should come to live near yours ..
I don't have anyone to babysit. I haven't been out of the house after tea time since 2013. I would invite other mums round, but the ones I know (all married) have 4-bed houses. I can only fit 1 other adult in the tiny space I have before it starts to feel a little claustrophobic. It's also DD's play room whereas they have actual 'play rooms' and their 'living room' is a grown up space, or they have an actual kitchen, with a table you can sit and talk at. I don't seem them getting on with my place tbh. It works for me and DD, but it's different to what they have. Plus, they get to go out anyway because they all have OH, and really don't seem that bothered - they just see me part of a social circle where our kids hang out, they're not looking for new friends for themselves.
Dungan £1000/6 weeks for the summer would be a bit cheaper, as I'd be paying about £1,500 for that now. I guess it depends what they charge the rest of the year. Really don't like the thought of using a childminder, which is why I chose a nursery for DD as a baby - there's just more accountability for the staff. But might not have a choice after a certain age.
Doubt I'll get to see other mums at school, I drop DD off at 7am and pick her up at 6pm, so a CM (or whoever) would be doing that bit, unless my job situation changes.
My neighbours aren't the social, drinking type.. you can barely get a hello out of them.
Maybe dating is the way to go just to get a conversation (I mean, with zero expectation of actually starting a relationship even if you don't tell them that ).. it's just going to work out so expensive isn't it.. £20 for a babysitter? £20 for a meal/drinks? Another 10-20 possibly on transport (taxi) if drinking.. I could probably manage that once a month with a sacrifice somewhere else.
There has to be a way, I know I'm in a bit of a negative mindset. If I could go back to my single, childless self now.. I'd be going out every night of the week and then some...
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Thanks Flower haven't tried Sitters yet that's good to know.
When DD is 12.. that's 10 years away!
Where are you going to go with your new found freedom?
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