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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

When to have newborn away overnight

13 replies

rockabillyruby82 · 28/03/2016 10:52

Hey all, hope I'm posting this in the right place!
I have a 3 week old and would really appreciate advice on when is ok for him to be away from me overnight.
I know opinion will vary mother from mother but does anyone know of a website/article that can give me a conclusive answer? I've scoured the internet and can't find anything!
Thanks in advance

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rockabillyruby82 · 28/03/2016 10:55

Ah, just to add. I've placed this here as I'm a single mum of 2. Baby would be spending night at his fathers

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Fourormore · 28/03/2016 11:02

I don't think there is a conclusive answer, that's why you won't have found one. Some mothers are happy to leave their babies in the care of others fairly early (weeks old), some not til they're much older.

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Mumknowsbest6 · 28/03/2016 11:32

it is a personal choice, my daughter started overnight stays at 12 weeks old, I wanted to make sure she had a good relationship with her dad - he was a crap partner but a good dad .
We built it up gradually so I dropped her off at 6pm and collected her at 8am to put my mind at rest and by the time she was 1yr she was staying fri-Sun alternate weekends.

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Ilovenannyplum · 28/03/2016 11:38

I left my DS for the first time when he was around 4 months old with my MIL on NYE.
I dropped him off and cried the whole way home, I don't think I was ready and didn't really enjoy my night.
I trusted her completely with him so wasn't worried about him not being cared for I just didn't want to be separated.
He's 19 months now and I can count the times on one hand he's stayed away, I'd rather have him with me.

I appreciate that everyone is different and I think only you will know when you feel comfortable having baby stay away

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SylviaWrath · 28/03/2016 11:42

You don't get conclusive parenting answers from articles or websites. You are the parent, you decide these things for yourself.

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AliceInUnderpants · 28/03/2016 12:07

There is no right or wrong answer. DD1 first started going away overnight to my parents at 3 weeks old. DD2 was closer to 2 years.

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BirthdayBetty · 28/03/2016 12:12

I'm surmising that baby is ff, obviously if baby is ebf its a non starter. If baby is ff then it's when you both feel the time is right.

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rockabillyruby82 · 28/03/2016 12:35

Thanks for the advice everyone. I'm not ready to let him go overnight. The situation isn't great either!

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starry0ne · 28/03/2016 19:39

There isn't a court in the land would make you hand over a baby overnight at 3 weeks old...

The suggestion is little and often at this age... However factors to consider .. how involved he is.. Is baby FF or BF?

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HappyHedgehog247 · 28/03/2016 20:46

No court or solicitor would force overnight contact at this age (unless there were concerns with your care etc). You can always increase contact but it's much harder to reduce once established.

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mrschatty · 28/03/2016 20:50

There is absolutely no right or wrong time
I was rushed to hosp as an emergency 2 weeks after having my dd. I was in intensive care there was no way baby could have been with me and we spent 3 nights apart. Luckily by the 4th night she could come in and stay with me then. It wasn't my ideal situation but what could i do... since then though I'm happy to leave her overnight with my parents/MIL and she is 3mo

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FindYourStrength · 30/03/2016 23:36

I am having the same dilemma...
ExP wants to have our 4 month old stay overnight 3 weekends out of 5. I told him no way, as he is a stranger to her, since he has seen her (out of choice) only 7 times since her birth).

He is now started a legal battle and is threatening to take me to court. Scared of what the judge could say but confident that I am doing what's best for her and confident with my lawyer.
ExP is also refusing to see dd with me present, so he's making his situation harder than necessary.

It's so stressful... I'm really treasuring every second with DD that I have away from legal troubles.
Chin up - and stay strong for the babies.
Keep me updated on your progress! Xx

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rockabillyruby82 · 01/04/2016 12:00

My STBXH is demanding the deposit back on our house. So he can buy a house for him and OW!! He's also demanding more access to 2DSs with intention of getting out of paying child maintenance. I could write a book about the arsehole!