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How to hurt me as much as possible!

(8 Posts)
charlybear7 Fri 25-Mar-16 21:17:37

My ex had an affair whilst I was pregnant with our 2nd son. It's been a year now and I've heard from my eldest that they have met the OW and she's been holding my baby. This makes me feel sick to think she's playing happy families with my children.

I know I can't do anything about it, when I mentioned it to my ex he denied he has a girlfriend and said the children have met his friends. So he's a compulsive lier and will never tell me the truth. All I know I have to do is deal with the fact she's in my children's lives but I'm finding it difficult given they're not being honest or truthful to me. There is no respect there at all. Any advice please?

CactusKate Fri 25-Mar-16 21:24:50

Can he see the children at your house? Although that might be the last thing you want. But at least he would be alone.

charlybear7 Fri 25-Mar-16 21:26:16

No that's not ideal!

Am I being unreasonable thinking it's not really acceptable?

Fourormore Fri 25-Mar-16 23:11:05

I don't think there's anything you can do about it other than find a way to deal with how you feel about it. My ex did similar, the pain was horrific.

The thing is, now you are separated, he doesn't have to tell you the truth. It's not your business anymore. That reads as harsher than I intend it to, but I suppose it is a hard truth.

Lonecatwithkitten Sat 26-Mar-16 08:07:31

I am with Fourmore you need to lower your expectations. He lied and cheated on you when he was married to you, he is going to continue to lie to you now. I suspect if he follows the pattern he will continue to lie to reflect himself in a good light.
As hard as it is you need to take comfort from the small things, your children are being cuddled when they are with your Ex not all of them get cuddled. When they are away get really busy so that you don't have time to dwell on what they are doing.

Marilynsbigsister Sun 27-Mar-16 07:43:22

The thing is op , they aren't just 'your' children. They are also his children. As long as he does not harm their welfare, then what he does/ who he spends time with when they are with him, is, as their equal parent, entirely his business. I am really sorry. It stinks I know.

Mumknowsbest6 Sun 27-Mar-16 13:55:51

It is an awful situation and your ex isn't being fair at all, he doesn't have to tell you anything but a little bit of honesty goes along way when you are co-parenting!
My ex was living with OW by the time DD arrived so I think your ex has shown some decency in waiting a year to introduce the children - you just need to lower your expectations to avoid disappointment in the future, I agree with keeping busy - I work extra shifts when it is ex's weekend

whatyouseeiswhatyouget Mon 28-Mar-16 13:51:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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