Cms deo and arrears(6 Posts)
So split with ex 2 years ago. Went to cms after a couple month. He kept promising to pay but didn't. Took from jan 2014 til may 2014 for calculation. He paid the calculated amounts by collect and pay. Sept 2014 the new charges came in. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and agreed to direct payment. Which means cms calculate amounts and he pays me direct. He was supposed to pay a set amount of arrears too. As soon as he was in control of how much he paid me he was making reduced payments or skipping payments. By feb 2015 I contacted cms and asked for collect and pay. This was as I was sick to death of contacting him about money/listening to his excuses etc. He promised to pay the set amount plus 30 per month of the arrears he owed (I agreed to this). March payment didnt come at all. Cms gave him ANOTHER chance til april....nothing again. By july 2015 I finally got a payment through a deductions of earnings order (taken directly out of his wage). Cms now charge 20% plus took some of the 1500 ish arrears from his wage. He was fuming laying it on thick that he couldnt live etc on almost half a wage. I rang cms and asked if they could lower the arrears...as long as I get it back I don't care how long it takes. So they did to 30 a month.
I spent so much time, effort and money sorting cms out I was just glad it was sorted and didn't have to chase my ex for money anymore.
I had a phone call from my ex yesterday saying cms have now taken double what they normally take from his wage and could we sort things out between ourselves?? I cant believe the cheek of him. He did not care all those months he didnt pay for his child when I was struggling and him and the new girlfiend were always out on the drink. I have said I refuse to cancel cms as given past history he messes me about. Why should I wait months on end to apply again after he messes up again! Ive told him to contact cms himself and ask to reduce the arrears! He says they wont. I cant stand my ex and apart from arranging contact for my child I avoid him. Am I being unreasonable to leave it to him to sort this? Or should I ring them to reduce arrears. I dont want to ruin him to the point hes got no petrol to come pick his child up! But im pissed off as I know if the situation was reversed he wouldnt do it for me .
No if he can't afford it then he should ring them not you!! He needs to learn to budget and make petrol money a priority over going out with his girlfriend, after all his child should come first! My ex is a nightmare with money and when he hasn't paid me he doesn't give a hoot about his children and knowing how I'll find money to feed them!!
Stay strong and just remember when he paid you nothing or the minimum x
Hes just really angry he has to pay arrears back! The cms do take ages, but if he had of picked up the phone when they rang him or sent the paperwork back on time he wouldnt have so many arrears to start with. He always manages to make me feel guilty over money, hes good at playing the victim. But you are right, Its up to him to sort. Im sick of hearing about cms. Takes ages to sort. Hes threatening to quit his job!
I can't believe you asked the CSA to do something then cancelled it really. Don't feel guilty if he paid when he was supposed to he wouldn't have arrears to pay!
No I haven't cancelled anything. There was no charge for collect and pay before sept 2014. When it changed I agreed to direct payment to avoid charges me 4% him 20%. He didnt stick to it so went to deductions of earnings. We are both now charged. Initially the cms were taking 40% of his wage to recover arrears. I had rang them as there was no way he could live on half a wage...so they reduced it. His wage is not much higher than minimum wage. Hes an arsehole but wouldnt see him starve lol.
Do you know what...Next time he mentions the Maintenance just inform him it is now dealt with by CMS...The reason you do this so you can focus on raising your DC and not have to discuss money..
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