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(4 Posts)
Mamapotter2008 Tue 09-Feb-16 22:35:31

Very new to this lone parent stuff.

Our daughter is 8 I'm four months time. She's been complaining that Dad (my ex) doesn't kiss and cuddle her much. It was a friend who pointed out that might be because he's on his own with her, and needs more boundaries. I thought that was a bit strange, but maybe she's right.

She came back from last weekend complaining that she had to share a single bed with him (I know why that was) and that he refused to put more clothes on (was wearing just his underpants - he normally does that) when she said she "didn't want to touch his skin".

Now I know there is absolutely nothing to be concerned about. However, after what my friend said, I am worried that he's going to get himself into trouble doing that kind of thing. I also do think she's getting too old to sleep in the same bed as her dad.

Should I bring this up with him, or am I over thinking / overreacting

Borninthe60s Tue 09-Feb-16 22:43:53

I'd have a chat with him and say what DD has said but that you don't want him to let her know she's told you and you want to work together to find a solution.

VoyageOfDad Wed 10-Feb-16 20:04:41

My dd is 7. And although I frequently plant kisses on the top of her head , hugs I let her decide on and lead. But I'm always available for a hug !

Obviously if she's upset or had a scrape I will scoop her up and hug her.

If we watch a film she usually snuggles up to me

I don't generally kiss her on the lips.

I also co sleep with her. She has her own bedroom, but wants to sleep in my bed, which I like as we'll often have a good chat. In fact the other night she forgot it was me she was talking to whilst recounting with pride that her dad wouldn't do such and such. It was very sweet. Felt very proud.

But its all child led. She has a choice, and she chooses to sleep with me, I let her decide if she wants a hug or not but will show affection in other ways frequently.

I usually wear underwear and pj's , but I've never woken up with any issues iykwim

I don't think there is anything to worry about, but she will need her own bed at some point even if that means he's on the floor. So no harm in broaching that.

Lurkedforever1 Wed 10-Feb-16 20:16:05

I don't think the bed thing is 'wrong' cos it's her dad, but same as if she was sharing with you, if she isn't choosing to herself, then that should be respected.

The cuddling thing could be an ott reaction, which is quite sad. I've got male friends dd has known all her life, and although since she got to 8 or so they are very careful about where they'd tickle her, or how they'd lift her up etc, they certainly still hug her and have normal fatherly type physical contact with her.

I echo the suggestion of talking to him without your dds knowledge.

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