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Are you in this postion as a lone parent?

(13 Posts)
BeckerLleytonNever Tue 09-Feb-16 17:14:45

Do any of you EVER have even the teensiest bit of help?

Do you have family/friends?

Do the so-called ''services'' he
lp you if you have a disabled child and you yourself are disabled?

Do you ever get taken seriously as a single parent?

Do 'they' take seriously the fact you've been abused all your life (what life? its an existance. not a life)? Raped? assaulted? Beaten?

And that its happening everyr sigle fucking day and do you live every single minute od the day in total fear?

where you cant sleep properly (and are up most of the night, just what a fulltime carer in 24/7 physical pain needs), you cant eat, you're forcing yourself to eat and what you do eat you're bringing up all the time cos of the trauma and stress?

and if you try and explain you're being targetted because you're a lone parent and the neighboursnow for a fact you never have visitors(you dont tell them, in fact you say you have a partner who works shifts and comes home at odd hours, just for security and to feel you need them to thinbk you actually have someone), yet whenever you have to confront them for theirt anti social behaviur and taubnts and spitting at you and kicking you and calling you every name under the sun, and to your poor child too, somehow they know youre alone.

and do you call the police and they dont give a fuck, they even say if i call them round the neighbours will make it worse for us once the police leave and the police wont provide protection for you as they dont have the so called resources?

and you cant move out of where you are cos no oine wants to live in such a sinkhole place full of druggies/drunks/yobs? (we were given this council place or the other choice was homelessness).

are you scared to go out of your front door? worse at night where no one cares, the police never patrol this area, its that rough and even they are scared of the yobs.

read the following lin k please, its us. its totally us.

www.theguardian.com/uk/2011/may/24/fiona-pilkington-police-misconduct-proceedings

and thats ^^whats going to happen in the end, we have no future. not even a present. every fucking day.

ive gone to local mps, local paper, CAB, reported its disability hate crime and anti social behaviour but it just doesnt wash with anyone.

and all because im a lone parent, and if anyhting happenms to me, DCS got NO ONE. she couldnt even manage in care as she has so many disabilities, again, the link above. its us.

and they wont care if i ebnd up doing what she did. the y dont care.
i have NO support, no friends (they buggered off when i became disabled,
nice eh?)

so did the church.and they call themselves Christians.

no one to protecxt us, no one to stay once ina while so i can sleep a bit, and inm all alone to cope woth all this.

sorry its long. i cant go on like this evbery fucking day.

btw i only have limited use of internet so may not be able to get back to anyone as yet.

what the fuck can i do about all this?

please, someone help. ive been to disabilty and vulnerable peoples groups but they still dont help.

BeckerLleytonNever Thu 11-Feb-16 16:52:54

oh, erm.....okaaay.

came back to this 2 days later hoping for a bity of support or hand holding. sad.

BeckerLleytonNever Sun 14-Feb-16 17:13:52

wow. and I thought this site was to empathise and support. thanks.

whatdoIget Sun 14-Feb-16 17:19:50

Hi Becker. That sounds incredibly hard. Sorry I don't have any advice. Is your dc at school? Do you have a social worker? Hopefully someone who can help will see this soon flowers

Thornrose Sun 14-Feb-16 17:19:56

Oh god, I have nothing much to offer but a virtual hug and flowers

I am a lone parent, dd's dad died, she also has disabilities, Aspergers and other stuff.

We once lived on a bad estate in SW London. There were gangs of youths hanging out night and day. Lots of intimidating behaviour.

We had a very vocal neighbourhood group who reported every single incident. We all kept detailed logs. The police made our area an exclusion zone? It meant groups could be moved on very quickly. Do you have other neighbours on side?

whatdoIget Sun 14-Feb-16 17:22:02

Maybe you could ask for your post to be moved? I'm not sure where the best place would be though. Maybe the special needs topic where posters may have more experience and might spit something that you're not doing that could help. The lp board is quite quiet generally. So sorry to hear about what you're going through. You must be a strong woman

LineyReborn Sun 14-Feb-16 17:24:53

Hi Becker. That sounds horrendous. I see you've complained to just about everybody. Who's your MP? I'm happy to email them and complain again on your behalf.

Want2bSupermum Sun 14-Feb-16 17:25:39

I just saw this. I see the problem is with where you live. Is there a better area you could move to? Once you have identified the area you want to move to, have you been able to identify what steps have to be taken to make that happen?

BeckerLleytonNever Sun 14-Feb-16 17:41:59

thank you. I was feeling abit hmm.

social services are shit here. they don't care. they made things worse. (long story).

my DC is 14 and we've moved TEN times in her life because I cant get a ''proper'' job '' and a mortgage and choose where to live, we're given ''this or the streets'' by councils/HA.

a child with multiple disabilities (especially mental ones ) does NOT need so much upheavel and changes to her already disruptive existence.

she is now home sb chooled as she was unable to keep in schools due to her problems, and kept getting ''exclude'' as even in a SN school they couldn't manage her. can you blame my poor kid with all the upheavels?

the Home schooling is brilliant, that's not a problem, and her few friends and me are the only 'constants' in her life.

weve been trying to move from here for 5 yearsd now, virtually since we moved in, the council/services/GP wont take me seriously about needing to be in a safe envioronment. and as I said in OP no one wants to move here, Im on homeswappwer.

and I wa stold too by a school mum once ( when DC was in school) ''you get picked on cos you're a lone parent, other LP's have got 'someone', a n ex/parent/friend/relative to help, and you have no one and they all know this and so bully you''.

shes right.

unless someones in my shoes they'll never know what its like.

sorry about the typos, im that stressed.

and sorry, I know its a stuggle for most single parents, but SP's I know all have 'someone' once ina while.

im scared to approach the neighbours, theyre ALL roughnecks.

weve had more trouble over the weekend by the yobs and their mates. the police do fuck all they really do.

I have to log off now, ive no more credit till a few days time.

Want2bSupermum Sun 14-Feb-16 18:13:51

Go and speak to your MP. Your are being failed by multiple groups who are there to help you.

LineyReborn Sun 14-Feb-16 18:24:47

If you PM me - MNHQ can confirm I've been on here for years - I will gladly chase up your MP on your behalf. It incenses me when people like you fall through the cracks, OP. It sounds so hard for you.

I've done it for friends and I'll happily help you, too.

Needtoprotect16 Sun 14-Feb-16 18:39:45

This sounds dreadful and completely unacceptable. Okay, when you say SS are shit, tell us why? After the Pilkington case, local authorities were supposed to learn from that Serious Case Review - part of which meant taking seriously repeated referrals and complaints from those being targeted.

Have you got a paper trail of contact with SS? Are you asking for every communication to be logged? Is there someone that could contact them on your behalf to flag up a safeguarding concern - repeatedly? Similarly, re the police. Contact CAB, your MP, ask SS to put you in touch with an advocate who will facilitate/uphold your rights here.

Please do not put up with this 'hate crime' - you should use this term when speaking to professionals you deal with - this is what it is.

BeckerLleytonNever Mon 22-Feb-16 11:56:32

Tha nk you all.

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