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DS said he's scared of his DF

(13 Posts)
AtSea1979 Sun 07-Feb-16 20:31:00

What can I do?
Things are currently bad between me and XH. XH attacked me, nothing too serious but I had bruises, I foolishly didn't report it as I was worried about what might happen. XH denies this.
DS has come back from his, saying his dad has told him things but has told him he's not to say anything to anyone about it. This is the last thing I teach DC, I always tell them if anything ever troubling them they must tell a grown up etc. DS told me what happened, that his dad was pressuring him to live with him (DS is 10). I asked DS what he said to this, DS said he told him he might. I asked him why he said that when he's always told me its last thing he wants. DS said because he's said to say no to him. My blood ran cold. I asked why, he said because sometimes he can get very cross and he is scared he will hurt him. I asked if he has ever hurt him he said no. Is there anything I can do?

RandomMess Sun 07-Feb-16 20:33:29

I have no idea but reassure your DS that he doesn't have to live his Dad ever if he doesn't want to.

AtSea1979 Sun 07-Feb-16 20:38:00

I've done that, I want to reassure him that he doesn't have to be scared but I can't.

Madelinehatter Sun 07-Feb-16 20:42:23

Stop contact. If DF wants contact let him apply via the court. How long ago was the assault? Could you still contact police?

AtSea1979 Sun 07-Feb-16 20:50:12

He has a court order in place, this was made about 5 years ago. Despite me never blocking contact, I just refused to give in to his terms so it went to court.

AtSea1979 Sun 07-Feb-16 21:16:57

Should I speak to DS school tomorrow and try and get him to tell them what he's told me then its not just my word?

cestlavielife Sun 07-Feb-16 21:25:35

Yes speak to the school safeguarding person.
But you have to be prepared for them to speak to ds snd to take it further.

AtSea1979 Sun 07-Feb-16 21:34:26

I asked DS if he wanted to speak to a police officer and he got panicky and said no he didn't want to speak to anyone. Besides not sure what they could do when XH hasn't actually done anything to him.

Madelinehatter Mon 08-Feb-16 03:52:27

Maybe the idea of the police is too extreme. Your poor DS. Your ex may not have 'done' something but he is obviously frightening and intimidating your son. And that is something. I would speak to a social worker for advice. I wouldn't want to be sending my chi,do somewhere he is scared to be.

It sounds like this mat be tricky. You already have a court order. Maybe speak to a family solicitor again.

Sounds awful.

cestlavielife Mon 08-Feb-16 08:07:59

Agree not police but eg counsellor or teacher

AtSea1979 Mon 08-Feb-16 22:14:12

Thanks. Took the day off and spoke to head teacher, gp, solicitors and local women's aid.
Not sure what's going to happen next weekend now though.

Madelinehatter Tue 09-Feb-16 16:12:04

What did they advise? What actions are you/they taking?

RandomMess Tue 09-Feb-16 16:40:33

hugs & flowers so horrid when a parent is emotionally abusive to their child sad angry

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