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Just need to talk...

(3 Posts)
clashofclanswidow Tue 26-Jan-16 21:11:14

I'm 26, I have a beautiful Daughter who recently turned two and I'm 23 weeks pregnant with my second Daughter.

I've been in a 'rocky' relationship for the last 6 years but my ex had a habit of going out at the weekends and spending too much money on beer etc and I decided I needed a break from out relationship as he didn't seem to understand his responsibilities were more so than ever now we had two children coming, not one.

It was probably a hasty decision looking back but I was scared and upset - we have a lot of debt.

I claimed benefits and I think this knocked him a bit as he suggested I must have had this planned out but really I guess I wanted him to realise what he was losing and step up. Silly me.

We had some conversations about getting back together and we tried but it was awkward - I think he blamed me for the hurt he felt from being kicked out.

In brief, he came back for xmas, our daughters 2nd bday, new years and then our second scan before telling me too much had happened between us as a couple and he could no longer see a future between us.

Two and a half weeks after the second scan of our Daughter, he has now told me he has met someone else and I don't know how to feel?

Goes without saying I'm so hurt after 6 years that he'd just fall into bed with someone else but at the same time I know this is the way "some" men cope. And I'm also angry he made me feel like a monster when he obviously must have had the same feelings to move on so fast?

I'm also confused how someone (the new girl) could get into a relationship with a man who has a baby on the way with someone else?! I don't know if I could get my head around that!

She has kids of her own so it feels a bit like he's abandoning our family for hers, even though I know I instegated the initial split?

I'm just a bit lost. Everyone close to me is just telling me he's a loser, I deserve better, the usual etc but everything is just stupidly painful atm.

Did anyone else have a breakup during pregnancy and go on to be happy? How did you cope please? I'm not an outgoing person, I only really have one friend I can rely on so I feel a bit alone at the moment, sorry xx

starry0ne Tue 26-Jan-16 21:58:56

I think it is ok to feel hurt how quickly he has moved on so fast..

I think you need to focus on yourself and how to move forward... He is with her not making happy families.

I am not sure who is blaming you him or you or both.. You left because he wouldn't do the basics.. He hasn't for one child and won't for 2 either..

Do you have RL support too..Take all you can at the moment

clashofclanswidow Tue 26-Jan-16 22:20:40

Thank you for your reply =) I'm just so confused by his behaviour!

Since he said "no future for us" I have only contacted him a bare minimum amount and only if it has been about our girl and never made excess conversation etc.

However last week, he messaged me out the blue saying he was struggling to cope with feeling like he wasn't bonding with our unborn baby as it won't hear his voice etc?!

At the weekend, our Daughter was poorly and he messaged me then saying he could come up here and watch her to "give me a break" etc if I wanted him to but all along he must have been seeing this other girl?

I know those are minor things and I am way overthinking things but I don't know how he can try have these kind of conversations with me when dating someone else.

But this is silly because we were no good for each other anyway, so I'm not sure why it's effecting me so =( xx

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