Wwyd? Alone, pregnant & confused(9 Posts)
So, I'm a single mum to a disabled 12 year old, over the summer I met a guy, we dated a while, it was fairly casual. Now, I as sterilised 3 years ago, for various reasons, so we presumed all was safe on that front.
Que discovering I was pregnant (I only did the pregnancy test because he was convinced I was pregnant so was planning on proving him wrong)
As he was too busy too meet up at the time, I sent him a picture of the pregnancy test, saying I was in shock - didn't hear anything back but message delivered -
doctor sent me for a v early scan to confirm all ok as obviously being sterilised we were worried about ectopic etc so after not hearing from him for a few days I text again to say yes was definitely pregnant & didn't know what to do.
This time the message didn't deliver & my calls wouldn't go through, obviously he'd blocked my number. Seemed pointless sending more messages so I didn't until my 12 week scan when I sent a pic, which I sent via watsap- saw him come online, read the message & didn't reply. Two weeks later, he disappeared from watsap & facebook, I assumed he'd blocked me from both.
Well I decided on one final push, and turned up on his doorstep on Tuesday (now 20 weeks pregnant)
He claimed he hasn't got my messages & didn't even know I was pregnant, thought me not texting him was just me dumping him....
He did look genuinely shocked.
Has asked for a few days to think about things, and then will call me....
It's been 3 days, it's a new year - he hasn't called.... I'm not going to hear from him am I?
I genuinely didn't expect him to walk away I didn't think he was like that.
I feel deceived- I gave him a get out of jail free card, I understand this wasn't planned, so I understand if he doesn't want to be involved.... But couldn't he just say that outright?
It's driving me bloody mad!!
Unfortunately there is not always closure at the end of a relationship and sometimes people would rather pretend a situation doesn't exist than admit out loud that they are being crap. You may not get that honesty and clarity you're seeking. I've known men stick their heads in the sand and come round when the shock has passed and be good fathers in the long run. I've known more men who have buggered off. It's impossible to predict the future but I think your best action now is to take good care of you and your family. And in due course, remember he is as responsible for this baby as much as you are and, whether he wishes to have a relationship with you or his child or not, he is obliged to support your child ...
Would the hospital be obliged to make a financial payout due to failed sterlisation?
Yes, hospital would indeed be obliged if I decided to go down that route, as it stands I'm thrilled I'm having another baby, although feeling very guilty as the baby appears to have the same illness as dd- which is life limiting, however I feel unethical taking money from a public funded NHS especially as without the NHS dd wouldn't be alive & hopefully bump will get equally good service.
I should add when I saw him & said if you want to walk away, I understand, he said that wasn't am option- maybe 3 days just isn't long enough- although if the shoe was on the other foot I'd rather have talked before the new year came in ... But that's just me, bull in china shop is my usual style
Fair enough glad your dd is getting good medical care. Your babies father is involved whether he likes it or not, at least financially.
What a tosser, you have every right to feel annoyed. He could have said he didn't want to be involved but he's an awful thoughtless coward so he left you hanging. So sorry you're being treated this way, you don't deserve it.
Thanks guys. I have no interest in pursuing him for financial contributions, I feel it would be unfair considering the circumstances, I earn more than he does & am in a better finical position than him. Don't need his money, I just want him to be a parent to his daughter. I guess it's better now that he's run off rather than when she's actually born though. At least she won't have her heart broken by a dead beat dad. We have plenty of really great male role models around us, so we'll be just fine.
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