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I feel like ive had enough

(18 Posts)
Sosickofthisshit Tue 29-Dec-15 01:13:08

I am fucking sick

WanderingTrolley1 Tue 29-Dec-15 01:31:35

flowers What's wrong?

TheCrazyDuchess Tue 29-Dec-15 01:32:42

You OK???

Sosickofthisshit Tue 29-Dec-15 01:45:48

I am sick of doing this alone, with people around me im still alone!

Sons dads are ok but i thought holidays would be shared and theyre not. They strictly stick to weekends, and i have them the rest of the time. Id just like a fucking decent break, you know! I know i had kids, but so did they!

I am battling with my anxiety at the minute. Well all of the time, every fucking day, but its at an all time high lately. I think its pushed me over to depression to be honest.
My parents cant help as much anymore. My dad is in remission from cancer and my mum is terminal. Doing fantastic, but obviously not as capable as before.
I am dealing with all of that worry and shit on my own. I have no friends, really. I have people...yes, but no one i would consider picking the phone up for a chat or what have you. I cannot be bothered to keep up with how friends keep up, as some days i dont even want to go outside (obviously i do since i have to), so i just forever keep people at a distance.

I have a part time job. I dont have to work, and im not expected to with how severe my anxiety is, but i wanted to. Im seriously considering quitting as its added fucking stress. But if i do i fail myself, and the message i want my kids to get!

I am sick of dealing with spoilt behaviour from my 7 year old. His dad spoils him rotten, and my household suffers because of it. I have approached dad and his response is "he doesnt do that here. He wouldnt dare" because you fucking bow down to his every fucking command! You penis!

I just want to run away and never return. Just like simba from the bastard lion king. A film i have watched over and over and over and over...hakuna matata

Sosickofthisshit Tue 29-Dec-15 01:48:39

As for right now...i am sitting down stairs, running on little sleep because my youngest two have decided to mess about in their bedrooms! 5 and 7 year old! This seems to be the new thing, and its wearing thin already.
I have thought sod it, you keep me up - ill keep you up.
Really, i am sick of having the same battle and getting far too stressed and shouty. Its too late, i thought i may as well tell them to come down and just sit and watch what im watching. The hobbit. Which unfortunately, they are enjoying!

Sosickofthisshit Tue 29-Dec-15 01:53:14

Thank you for asking. Sorry for the rant

TheCrazyDuchess Tue 29-Dec-15 01:54:01

Do you know whathat, parts of why you have typed literally could have come from my mouth.

I only have one DD to think of and I have already been signed off work for nearly a month with stress and depression.

Be kind to yourself. Go downstairs, switch off TV - hide the remotes if you have to. Send them to get and get yourself to sleep asap.

If they choose to stay awake, that's fine in the safety of their room with the lights off. Just try and get some sleep.

Tomorrow is a new challenge, just come back know here and we will get you through it xxx

TheCrazyDuchess Tue 29-Dec-15 01:55:09

As for children's father's. ... well I haven't got to grips with that challenge as yet.

Sosickofthisshit Tue 29-Dec-15 02:13:22

Sorry to hear you have been signed off for stress and depression. Its bloody hard work, isnt it? Trying to hold on to everything, all the while trying to remain strong for your children!

My anxiety escalates when theyre making noise on a night time. The walls are paper thin and i worry myself sick about the neighbours. I often say i would hate living next door to us!

TheCrazyDuchess Tue 29-Dec-15 02:16:35

Sucks ball sacks!!!

But it will be okay xxxx

Sosickofthisshit Tue 29-Dec-15 02:54:57

2.55 and im dealing with a fucking screechy 7 year old wailing. Ive turned lights out as theyre not even trying to fucking whisper. I am so fed up of this shit

Want2bSupermum Tue 29-Dec-15 03:08:08

Do the kids have any school friends they can go around and play with? A girl in DDs class came to mine today with her little sister so I could give her a break. When it gets too much for me here she has mine over!

WanderingTrolley1 Tue 29-Dec-15 08:00:16

It's so hard, isn't it?

I have a DP, yet still struggle immensely with my toddlers, daily. I also suffer with anxiety and depression.

I'm having a miserable Christmas, visitors are here which I'm not comfortable with at the very best of times, there's no routine which is not helping, and I just want to stay in bed until a litt and normality returns next week!

flowers

Sosickofthisshit Tue 29-Dec-15 10:02:13

My son has many friends at school, but im not really sociable enough to arrange play dates.

I have text my sons dad and he is yet to respond. 4am i finally fell asleep for them to be up again at 6. They wont even let me have an hour on the settee.

Lack of routine is definitely part of the problem wanderingtrolley.
I feel so angry due to lack of sleep and snappy. I hate it. Im exhausted

TheCrazyDuchess Tue 29-Dec-15 10:22:39

I am sorry that you didn't get enough sleep - I am just foul with little sleep and makes my depression and anxiety so much worse.

If dad won't help do you have a back up plan? Any family you could reach out to?

Sosickofthisshit Tue 29-Dec-15 10:45:26

It does me, too along with migraines. Dad is going to pick my 7yo up. Thankfully, as i dont have any other family members that could help

TheCrazyDuchess Tue 29-Dec-15 10:59:17

Well that's good, will you be able to relax a little then? Just take it easy today xxxx

Sosickofthisshit Tue 29-Dec-15 11:09:34

I hope so. Depends on my other two, i guess lol. Thank you, im going to try xxx

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