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(24 Posts)
Charlie9876 Sun 27-Dec-15 00:16:11

On the Christmas eve. I had an argument with my partner at the time partner now ex. He phoned the police. I was arrested at my home for an allegation of assault. My 14 month old son was taken from me and given to his father. I had made a point of telling the officers that I was still breastfeeding feeding but they said that that was just unfortunate.

I got took in to custody . Questioned and released with no further action.

I was released early hours Christmas day and told not to collect my son until morning.

My mum collected my son on Christmas day and I stayed at hers that evening.

Boxing day I went back home with my son. I got into another argument with my ex. I told him I was moving back in as my son and I could not live at my mother's. I had slept on the floor with my son, it wasn't practical as none of my son's belongings were there and so on. That it wasn't really safe as it didn't have the baby gates, locks for cabinets.

He said no to me moving back in and said he would let our son. We both jointly have our names on the deeds and mortgage of the house.

The argument got worse he called me lots of names. So I phoned the police.

Police arrived and said after 30min discussion. That they were making a decision and that I would have to leave and stay at my mother's again. And that if I didn't go they would put my son into care.

Can anyone advise me what to do? My mum does not want me living with her.

TheoriginalLEM Sun 27-Dec-15 00:27:14

could you call women's aid?

Waltermittythesequel Sun 27-Dec-15 00:29:35

Did you assault him?

Charlie9876 Sun 27-Dec-15 00:37:59

No I had pushed him shoved him ripped his t-shirt as he wouldn't let me stand up of the sofa. He also kept telling me go on hit me, hit me.

Charlie9876 Sun 27-Dec-15 00:39:36

Also on that day he would walk around the house not letting me walk anywhere say what you going to do. He would use his shoulder to nudge me so I couldn't go past.

Charlie9876 Sun 27-Dec-15 00:40:19

Thank you for telling me about women's aid I'm going to call them tomorrow

thelaundryfairy Sun 27-Dec-15 00:40:24

DV helpline, women´s refuge, a close friend or other relative?

Charlie9876 Sun 27-Dec-15 00:46:19

I've got no one else. I feel so bad for my son. my stomach is in knots. I spent last night vomiting. I feel so hurt and let down by him.

AtSea1979 Sun 27-Dec-15 00:49:48

Are you breast feeding?
Ring woman's aid. Ring 101 and ask to speak to senior police person and complain about the situation and explain. See a solicitor for your free half hour.

AtSea1979 Sun 27-Dec-15 00:51:00

Get your mum to collect your son again and take legal advice re house

Charlie9876 Sun 27-Dec-15 00:51:21

Yes I'm still breast feeding him. My son still wants to so I've carried on letting him. I know he's getting a bit old for it now.

AtSea1979 Sun 27-Dec-15 00:52:05

What did your DP say about feeding him?

Invandrare Sun 27-Dec-15 00:54:37

Look here;

You need urgent legal advice nd -ideally- an occupation order. If you have sufficient grounds and can prove them.

Charlie9876 Sun 27-Dec-15 00:59:28

I have my son here with me at my mums. We're sleeping on the floor. I shown the police officer that but he didn't seen concerned. He said he's seen worse.

Invandrare Sun 27-Dec-15 01:03:46

Also try the homelessness unit of your local council after Christmas. As soon as they re-open.

They will do an assessment and will have their own views on the fact that the parent without custody has stayed in the house while you and a child sleep on a floor. They might be able to help as a result. With legal advice or with signposting.

AtSea1979 Sun 27-Dec-15 01:05:53

Ah right ok, that wasn't clear from your post. So it's legal advice re the house you need asap. Probably not get very far until Monday. I'd go NC until then and maybe DP will calm down and realise what he's done over the next couple of days. Do you have funds for a hotel or somewhere where you have a bed at least?

Charlie9876 Sun 27-Dec-15 01:07:22

Some more history of our relationship is that February this year he was arrested. My mum had phone the police as I had phoned her during a previous argument and told her that he had gone to strangle me. It was only an attempt and he did quickly back down. We then broke up for 6 months. During this time he hardly visited our son. We started talking again and made an agreement that we work hard not to argue and make a fresh start with our relationship.

My ex's older sister text me and said when I told her of my arrest on Christmas eve. She said now you know what it feels like.

I do feel like during the argument he was planning to get me arrest.

I know people are going to read this and be like stupid girl but there was lots of what I thought practical reasons for getting back together. I know now I have made a mistake.

Charlie9876 Sun 27-Dec-15 01:08:18

I'm sorry I've just read my post yes I had not written it clear. I'm sorry

AtSea1979 Sun 27-Dec-15 01:10:57

No one thinks you are a stupid girl. Be gentle on yourself. I for one have been there, stuck in the drama. For the sake of DS you cannot go back, not ever.
So what happened with the house when you split up for 6 months?

Charlie9876 Sun 27-Dec-15 01:14:34

I stayed there but I couldn't afford it. I got into debt and could barely afford to eat. I was on maternity pay at the time. But I have now gone back to work. I don't know if I could afford it.

AtSea1979 Sun 27-Dec-15 10:30:15

Time to do some number crunching. Does DP want to stay there?

Charlie9876 Sun 27-Dec-15 10:53:33

Yes he won't move out he wants the house. Does anyone think I should phone socal services?

fidel1ne Sun 27-Dec-15 11:02:26

Why social services?

afreshstartplease Sun 27-Dec-15 11:08:06

I thought social services are automatically contacted by the police during incidents like this where a child has been present

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