Christmas concerts

[GEM33]

So just been to watch my child in hers and glanced across to see her dad, his parents (fair enough) and his girlfriend who he left me for and her parents. I had messaged him saying I was going and that I felt worried about seeing her and he said don't worry. I thought that meant she wasn't going. Am I being over sensitive here or was there really a need for her AND her parents to go too??? They all hate me and I was on my own. I felt awful. It ruined it. I couldn't even see my dd.

[Jerseyknit]

That sounds desperately difficult. No, definitely no need for her parents to go. I understand why you felt it was ruined. I know it doesn't feel it now but you will be ok. You're her mother and no one will ever take your place or be as important to your child. A positive side, again you might not feel it now is that your daughter will feel she's loved and is special to both her parents. That's precious for a child. I hope you're feeling better. It will get easier. I'm sure of it.

[moveon]

//hug

His GF shouldn't have gone. Not appropriate. But she did, so one way to think is that DD had lot of people there to support her. DD knew you were there as well as others to support her.

Is the split recent and how old is DD?

You DID NOT RUIN it. DD had lots of love and support for her performance.

[BlackeyedSusan]

how come there were so many seats free? (misses point)

[Lonecatwithkitten]

My Ex never ever got how much anxiety seeing OW caused me, her DD was at same school. I had three and half years of really feeling unwelcome at DD's school till the end of juniors.
Seniors now OW's DD is at a different school and finally I can relax and enjoy events.
Honestly most of these men are selfish and think only about what suits them that's why they had affairs in the first place.
Through out it all I plastered on a and faked it. Inside I was a churned up mess.
Have some and some.

[BlackeyedSusan]

just assume he was too embarrassed to see you without his entourage as he is a big fat coward.

[Letitgoletitgo]

My exh did this a few years ago - turned up with OW at our daughters nursery nativity. I went and sat with other mummy friends who were all horrified that he would do that without even mentioning it. It was a morning so meant her having booked time off work too! I refused to look her in the eye, never mentioned it. And she's not been to one since.....

[Letitgoletitgo]

No idea why her parents felt the need to be there - I guess she needed the support! Be strong and hold your head high. You were there for your daughter and she loves you and feels you are proud of her. That is all that matters, no one else.

[unicorn501]

that's awful, you poor thing. Her parents as well?! Beyond ridiculous. Dignified silence is the best way though, don't let them know it upset you. And remember, for your DD the most important person was there-you. And that's all that counts.

[AliceInUnderpants]

Is this the OW he left you for? If so, they've been together 2 years+. Your DD would appreciate having people there to support her.

[FatherB]

I hate to be that person but obviously DD is important to her too, it sucks but if you had a new partner you probably wouldn't think twice about bringing them to DD's events with you after you've been together two years. He can't live his life based around your feelings.

It's definitely a tough situation but I don't think he's 'wrong' just that it's hard. I can't really comment on her parents being there, maybe they are also close to DD? I'm sure DD didn't mind more people being there.