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Grrrrr I know I'm being unreasonable but

(10 Posts)
Twistedheartache Sun 06-Dec-15 19:30:17

Just a rant really - Twatty ex as he was leaving tonight dropped into conversation...Oh slaggy tart's sproglet keeps asking when she can come down & see DD1 so that'll be soon.
He can't openly say I was thinking of bring ow & her Dd coz they haven't met Dd2 yet/ow is bored due to not having job or whatever.
Followed by msg from the car saying I know you don't want them in the house so I won't do that.
Why can't he give his children 9hrs a fortnight?
I know he's left, he's with her & supporting her not working so he can't afford to help with childcare costs for his own children. (apparently I'm getting what I'm entitled to csa min which is approx 25% of childcare before any other costs) & he's fine with his children in wraparound childcare while she gets to pick up & drop off her child, it's just so frustrating.......

cestlavielife Sun 06-Dec-15 23:05:30

Sorry I don't understand at all

y0rkier0se Sun 06-Dec-15 23:11:29

I know it's hard but try not to see the OW's daughter as 'slaggy tarts sproglet'. She's just a child who is probably going through the same emotions as your daughter(s?) at new, blended families.

Twistedheartache Sun 06-Dec-15 23:44:24

You're right - she seems like a sweet girl & DD1 likes her which is the important thing. There's only 2 months between them in age. It's him I'm annoyed with - he's just so fucking clueless & selfish

y0rkier0se Sun 06-Dec-15 23:53:07

That's good - they might end up being good friends. And at least he's accepted that you don't want them in the house. You're entitled to be angry at him whilst it's still raw, but just know that one day you'll be able to look at him being a dick and feel no emotion whatsoever. wine for you.

Twistedheartache Mon 07-Dec-15 11:16:31

I hope they are friends as long as him & ow are going to be together forever.
For context he moved out in March & they got house together in June.
If in a few months/years time they split up it would be even more confusing for little ones no?

y0rkier0se Mon 07-Dec-15 14:02:40

It does seem like he's rushed into it and it must still be raw - first Christmas without him etc. And also it will look like happy families from the outside but remember you've lived with him and OW is now realising all the little annoying things that he does. Karma is a bitch grin. Yes it would be rubbish for them. My parents divorced when I was 3, mum remarried and stepdad already had kids. They divorced after 6 years but I'm still now in touch with my ex step sister - her DS is my nephew and I see them all the time and will see them on Christmas Day. Admittedly no OW was involved so no bad feelings there unlike in your situation, but it just goes to show you never can predict how things can work out. It might go tits up and your DDs end up confused about not seeing OW's DD, but on the other hand it might end up ok and they might be lifelong friends.

MascaraAndConverse89 Tue 08-Dec-15 12:04:46

sproglet? hmm

What has her child done to you? I know the answer to that... nothing.

littlethingsinlife Tue 08-Dec-15 14:11:13

I read another one of your posts about Lego referring to your DD1 being 4.9? Two month gap so she's still 4! I don’t think either child at that age understands the situation. You already know you're being unreasonable and calling an innocent 4 year old.

“it must still be raw - first Christmas without him etc. And also it will look like happy families from the outside”. I can fully understand this you say he left in March so things are clearly still raw for you, on the flip side it means they have been together at least 9 months? He dropped it into conversation them seeing DD2 for the first time, but he didn't just do it, he told you his intentions, He could have done it without letting you know in advance. Unfortunately you don't have much say on where he goes, what he does or who with, when he's got them unless you think they would be at risk. Circumstances surrounding OW's can be atrocious but you cannot live life like this and keeping them all apart “just in case”. You don't say no to getting married in case you end up a divorcee or no to having children in case you end up separated, like y0rkier0se said you can't predict how things will work out.

“she seems like a sweet girl & DD1 likes her which is the important thing” The feeling must be mutual for both children, she's asking to see your DD after all. You could be seen as being "clueless and selfish" as you say your ex is. You lead us to believe this is about your children, what's best for them, but it appears to be more of a smoke screen. Your real issue appears to be what your ex and Ow do in life. It's non of your concern how they live their lives, I think the sooner you grasp this concept the easier it will be to move on, stop burning your time and emotions on it.

There is no way to justify your original post calling a 4 year old that could say more about you than it does about them. Children are the innocent parties, that includes all of them and god forbid what you could call future ones, you can't predict how things will work out.

MotiSen Sun 13-Dec-15 03:57:59

Well, sometimes we rant and say the "wrong" things, but "slaggy tart's sproglet" is kind of funny in a it-made-me-laugh-when-I read-it sort of way, ... until I realized it is a "wrong" thing to say. I wasn't interested in DS and ow's brat (opps!) getting together at first, but my DS was interested ... so ... they play together, and it all ended up well as it makes them both happier. But, do set boundaries. My Ex thought it would be fun for us ALL to go together on outings. NOT. I appreciate having some time to myself. That's the other real advantage.
Best wishes!

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