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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Far too stressed!!

17 replies

Hawest1 · 03/12/2015 18:42

My stress levels have been through the roof recently!
Between DSs dad being a douche, being skint & kids acting up I feel I barely able a chance to breathe!
Christmas has put a massive strain on the finances, even though I planned it a bit better this year I still find myself with barely a penny to my name (maybe something to do with driving test coming up, another stress factor!) then things like boiler breaking send me over the top!
DSs dad now seems to think it's ok to be late for pick ups & drop offs & then decide to phone 5mims beige pick up 'can I please change me day' NOOO!! 'Can u swap me weekends cause I've got a party' NO! He wouldn't do it for me so not doing it for him! Then getting the 'I'll leave the boys with my mum' NO! (His mum is having some issues at the moment & im not comfortable with her being alone with kids when she is in a fragile state, any other time it would be no problem)
Then the kids, it seems December & the arrival of xmas decorations has sent them nuts!! I spend my days arguing, threatening that Santas watching, screaming, redecorating the xmas trees about 10times a day, constant trips to the naughty step etc etc etc. One is at nursery so at least I get a bit of a break, but it's honestly to the point I am excited when nursery time comes cause my head is bursting that much! Today I shouted so much I passed out!! I had literally just finished saying 'if I have to tell u once more u are going to bed' then boom it all went dark & I was on the floor. I am fed up of being skint, fed up of shouting 24/7, fed up of being the bad guy, just fed up completely! Sorry I think I just needed a little rant

OP posts:

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FrenchTammy · 03/12/2015 21:21

Hi hawset. Sorry about the stress you're going through. How many kids do you have? Do you have any family or friend support?x

Hawest1 · 03/12/2015 21:25

2 kid

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Toffeelatteplease · 03/12/2015 21:27

boom it all went dark & I was on the floor

are you Ok?

Hawest1 · 03/12/2015 21:28

Sorry phone had a wee moment there. 2kids 3yo & 1yo. My mums helps out when she can but she works full time. Friends all have their own kids & families & problems at the moment. Just seems to be one thing after another at the moment, think my brains just exploded with it all x

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Hawest1 · 03/12/2015 21:29

Yeh I'm ok now. It's happened twice today so think a trip to doctors is on the cards tomorrow.

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FrenchTammy · 03/12/2015 21:33

Hawest please go to the doctors. Passing out is not normal.

Toffeelatteplease · 03/12/2015 21:33

Yes please get yourself down to doctors ASAP. You need to look after yourself first and foremost. It's counterintuitive as a mum because you are always putting everyone else first but if your health goes down the pan everything else goes with it.

Do you have a back up plan for if you do go woozy?

Toffeelatteplease · 03/12/2015 21:36

As in can you show one of the kids how to call an ambulance if necessary and a written fact file of all the details a paramedic may need to know

Hawest1 · 03/12/2015 21:43

Yeh I have been trying to talk to my oldest about ambulances, doctors etc, not shown him 999 on the phone yet but getting round to it as he is finally beginning to understand a bit betters It's actually not happened for a long time. About 2 years ago was the last (since I split with DSs dad, again stress!!!!) before today anyway. I think everything just got on top & it all just went bang! Being a single mum ain't as easy as people make out, especially not when the kiddies decide to be little monsters at the same time. Today has just disaster after disaster, sounds horrible but it was like a massive weight has been lifted as soon as both boys were bedded tonight.

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Hawest1 · 04/12/2015 08:55

So the blackouts have already started today, although my morning did start with an arguement with a 1yr old adiment to eat a tube of toothpaste (looks like someone can now open doors & nothing is safe!!!!! )
So doctors at 12.30 (nursery time thank god! No arguements during my appointment, phew!!)

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Toffeelatteplease · 04/12/2015 17:10

How did the appointment go?

spanisharmada · 04/12/2015 17:15

Hope you're ok OP

Hawest1 · 04/12/2015 20:24

Apparently it's a simple faint, stress being a main factor, but to go get more tests etc just to be on the safe side & make sure stress isn't hiding anymore problems. Thanks for being so nice.

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spanisharmada · 04/12/2015 23:33

Glad it was relatively good news? Sounds like you really need to catch a break though!
Being a SP can be hard at times, but remember, nothing stays the same, 'this too shall pass'.

Hawest1 · 05/12/2015 07:53

Aw a break would be brilliant! But I doubt that will happen anytime soon. We get let down far too often by 'dad'

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Goodbetterbest · 05/12/2015 08:12

Sorry Hawest. It's bloody hard isn't it? It's ok to put yourself first sometimes, put a DVD on for the kids and stop.

All you can do is your best, but you MUST take care of yourself. You'll be no good to anyone otherwise, and it will frighten the LOs.

I think you need to tell the kids dad what is happening because he needs to step up and be on standby for them.

It's ok to let things go. Ignore what you can and only pick some battles. First rule of parenting isn't it? Choose your battles.

It's absolutely fine to put a DVD in sit with the kids watching it reading or something. Nothing REALLY matters more than you being healthy and well because everything stems from you.

Take care of yourself.

Hawest1 · 05/12/2015 08:54

Hard is an understatement!! lol. One dad is a total waste of space, hasn't bothered in over a year & tbh I'm glad cause my life was a hole lot more stressful when he was in it! But the other actually does do his bit & a bit more (he takes my other son that isn't even his aswell as his own so no one is left out & has became a father figure to both), but there is always an excuse, he's always late or drops them off earlier than expected (so I'm literally getting my house tidy & that's it before they are home! Nightmare!!) or there is always the 'can I swap I've got a party' 'can't do tonight I've got darts' even tho it was him that picked his own days for contact! Fed up of arguing about it tbh, even after a load of solicitors letters it hasn't made much of a difference.
My mum has my oldest son once a week for tea which is also a great help but again in that time I get my house sorted & im lucky if I get 5 mins to myself afterwards before they are home. Sick of spending all my 'free time' doing housework!! & the now when I do get a night to myself I can't even go out for drinks or even dinner cause I'm too skint from Christmas & other things like boiler breaking! Never ending

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