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Absent father help

(3 Posts)
Lulu1405 Tue 24-Nov-15 16:39:51

Hello everyone, I really need some advice, I split with my children's father two years ago and he has hardly seen the children since.
In the last year he has seen them 4 weekends and has probably rang them 5 times in that year, he tells me a week before he plans to see them and that's when he talks to the children to tell them he is going to see them but other than that there's no contact in between the 4 visits. My children are really confused by it all they get very upset asking why they aren't seeing him, why he doesn't ring, when they try to ring him there's no answer. My youngest (4) some times comes out of school sobbing that her friends are seeing their dad, my middle child (7) seems very angry at other children when they see their dads, it is really affecting them but he just says he will see them when he can (he gets every weekend off work), is there anything that I can do? Is there anyone I can talk to legally or just for advice? He says if I stop the visits he will tell the children I stopped him seeing them and it's my fault they don't have a relationship with him, I just feel completely powerless watching my children get emotionally hurt.

P.s I've tried mediation but he refused

helpfords Tue 24-Nov-15 19:07:56

I think that you need to inform him he can't just take them for a weekend .After no contact it is not fair.. I would tell him in writing, email that your children need regular contact and to build back up to weekends.

My Ex had irregular contact and it started damaging my Ds.. I decided him taking me to court was in my Ds best interest ..There would be a court order which he would constantly break then it would be done..However he couldn't be bothered to turn up to court...

I also don't think you have to dance to his tune..You need to make the children available for contact not dance to her tune

Lulu1405 Tue 24-Nov-15 20:56:45

Thank you for your advice, it's a horrible feeling isn't it and it makes me angry that they can't see what they are missing out on! Children don't stay children for long xx

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