Christmas

[mytimewillcome]

Hi,

My stbex had my eldest last year for Christmas and this year he will be staying with me. My ex then said that he wanted my eldest again this year and I said no. He keeps harping on about the children not getting a traditional Christmas with me because I'm not Christian but ultimately we do everything he does but don't go to church. The problem is that he is brainwashing the children into thinking they are going to have a terrible Christmas with me. My youngest said to me this morning 'Christmas will not be good at your house' (he's 3) and my eldest has said things along the same lines. I know he has said things to the children but he denys it and starts an argument. This is part of a larger problem where he does this all the time with the children. He basically portrays him and his family as amazing people and puts me and my family down. Can I do anything about this? I feel this is a form of emotional abuse. Thanks. There are no court orders in place and I will be starting divorce proceedings this year.

[CalypsoLilt]

I think you need to be really firm about having alternate years. I did the old switcheroo on Christmas Day and I hated it. HATED IT.

Can you compromise somehow by taking them to church on Christmas Eve?

[LouisaGlasson]

What do you have planned for Christmas? I'd be talking about that and making plans with them for things they'd like to do in the lead up.

I wouldn't discuss it with him, and wouldn't challenge him over things they are saying he has said. Just ignore him.

And if it's not your faith I wouldn't be taking them to church unless they were asking. Christmas is a mid winter celebration so not going to church doesn't mean it's not traditional, it's just not what he does.