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Help me to help dd

(3 Posts)
Twistedheartache Mon 23-Nov-15 09:36:02

Ex & I split up in March & he is now living 120 miles away with OW & her Dd (4.11)

DD1 (4.9) just spent weekend with her dad at his new house for first time as previous visits they stayed at gp house which is round the corner.

Ever since her dad left yesterday she keeps breaking down in tears saying she misses daddy, why can't daddy live with us again etc. Up to now she's been very accepting of the changes, but now it's just pure emotion coming out & it's heartbreaking to watch.

Apart from plenty of cuddles and reassuring her that our little team (with Dd2, 1) will be lots of fun & letting her talk to him as much as she wants- normally reluctant on our 2x per week facetime - is there anything else I can do to help her?

LouisaGlasson Tue 24-Nov-15 10:08:40

Oh bless her. It sounds like you are doing a great job. It's bound to be harder for her just after she's seen him. Does she know when she is going to see him next?

isaterror Sun 29-Nov-15 20:17:39

Hi I split up with my ex in Jan and have a 5 yo dd so similar circumstances. I can only suggest trying what I've said which is acknowledge that it must hurt but just keep emphasising that whatever happens that you both still love her and that you will always be there for her. That this is how some families are. Just give her lots of extra reassurance and cuddles and just keep pushing on, as hard and heartbreaking to watch as it is. Maybe a little reward chart with some small targets for her to achieve will help take her mind off it and give her something to focus on, ie brushing teeth and getting ready for bed quickly, sitting down at dinner table etc then allocate little rewards for different things ie, 4 stars a trip to the park, 6 stars her choice of craft activity or baking etc, 8 stars a small toy, puzzle or sticker book and so on. I hope it gets easier for you x

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