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not attending CAO hearing

(8 Posts)
EnoughAlreadyNow Mon 09-Nov-15 19:53:32

FDRHA today for contact issues. No agreement through conciliation so in court again for a final hearing - a week before Christmas. So in addition to everything else, Xmas is now cancelled because I have a month to fund yet more legal fees.

This year I have :

*had two terminations
*been seriously assaulted with my son's Wellington boot
*moved out of the family home and into rented accommodation
*become the sole carer for my son, working full time with no support other than the day nursery I pay for
*started divorce proceedings

It seems so unfair that he's allowed to continue hounding me through the legal system, and I have to pay for the privilege. It's not an issue for him on his city salary but it will mean that once again my son doesn't get a Christmas this year (he left us alone in the marital home last year).

Do I absolutely have to attend this next hearing? Is there any way I could just file my position statement and brief my Barrister? I'm not sure I can cope with anything more this year.

starlight2007 Mon 09-Nov-15 21:09:51

Can I suggest you post in Legal for more advise..

Are you not getting maintenance?

EnoughAlreadyNow Mon 09-Nov-15 21:42:35

CMS minimum for maintenance, which doesn't even cover the nursery fees. I earn too much (ha!) for any tax credits.
He's going on yet another holiday at new year, and we won't even have a tree because of his sodding litigation. Yet I had to sit through the lecture today about us 'working together in our son's best interests'.
Consulting the solicitor tomorrow, just really fed up right now. The whole system is a joke.

Bellemere Tue 10-Nov-15 16:34:27

Ditch the barrister and represent yourself? Or get a McKenzie Friend?
Are CAFCASS involved? What does your ex want? What do you want?
Completely sympathise, I'm in a similar situation, it's a nightmare.

Marilynsbigsister Tue 10-Nov-15 16:53:19

Self represent. Is no where near as scary as you would think. Ex h did this when we no longer wanted to pay for yet another cao hearing. Judges are now familiar with this since the abolition of almost all legal aid and have a duty to 'assist' you with procedure whilst remaining unbiased. (He won ) you should also ask for a fee exception form. The money you are 'allowed' before you don't qualify is a huge amount more then for benefits and includes child care. You may not get a full exemption but should get a % if you are only just over the tax credit threshold. Sorry, can't scroll back to re-read whilst posting. Didn't see if you were married or not. I hope you were. If so can you not secure a small Xmas loan against your divorce settlement. ?

Lonecatwithkitten Tue 10-Nov-15 17:48:38

I asked the question, but from the other side of my solicitor. His answer was an order will be made in absentia.
The word of caution I would have about not attending is that often there is to and fro between legal teams to get agreement which you will not be able to be part of and without you to compromise you may end up with an order you don't like.

Homely1 Sat 14-Nov-15 22:44:41

Bless you... I hope you are ok. How much contact does he want? And what does he have already?

pissinginthewind Sun 22-Nov-15 21:55:20

Definitely attend, you do not need a solicitor. Parents often self-represent and the judges are used to this. If only one party are represented again the judge is experienced in dealing with this scenario. The Family Court Adviser will advise the judge on what they believe is the best outcome for the child. Larger courts often have volunteers who are able to accompany you into the hearing- check with the court.

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