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How can I help DD (6) deal with separation?

(3 Posts)
WineIsPaleo Sun 11-Oct-15 22:26:47

Me and ex-H separated 5 months ago, I moved out with our children, they stay with him 2-3 nights every week at FMH. Our older children are coping well. DD (6) is a sensitive child and very attached to me. Handovers are awful, she is withdrawn all day, and, sometimes, quite teary, saying she is going to miss me, and at handover she cries and cries and tries to cling on to me, begging me to stay and begging me to come back 'home'. She has developed OCD -like behaviour, obsessively washing her hands, or licking her hands. I check with ex-H after handover and apparently she is fine, I speak to her to her on the phone and she is her usual self, chirpy and chatty. It's just the handover itself, and the time leading to it - she keeps asking why we can't 'be a family again' and how she wishes I could 'come back home'. It breaks my heart. She has a wonderful relationship with her dad who is - despite having been a total arse as a husband - is a great dad and a parent. I tell her that she can FaceTime/phone me any time but usually she doesn't have to. We have tried me dropping off, ex-H picking up, handovers in a neutral location, it's hard everywhere.

Does anyone have any advice?

Also can anyone recommend any books that would help explain separation to a 6-year old?

Bellemere Sun 11-Oct-15 22:28:48

Two Homes, Mum & Dad Glue and Dinosaurs Divorce are all good. You can google Little Mary the Switcher as well - that's a good short story for this sort of situation.

cestlavielife Mon 12-Oct-15 14:23:35

the huge bag of worries.

is she actually worried about you? about whether you will be ok when she goes to dad?

how to talk so kids will listen (for you)

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