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One parent, one child families(4 Posts)
I am a lone parent to a 2yo boy and we are very happy.
I love the time we get just the two of us and I hope to take him to all sorts of different countries when he is older if we can afford it and I think it might not have been an option if I had several children. I like that we can plan our lives around what the two of us want and need without having to consider a partner or other children that might have different interests.
On the downside I sometimes wonder if we are really a "family" and will DS miss out by not having two parents and some siblings to play with. I also sometimes worry that when he's an adult he will bugger off and live abroad or something and i'll be on my own!
What are your favourite and least favourite parts about being a lone parent to one child?
I hate that all the burden falls to me good and bad stuff.
I love that we get to do just what we please.
DD (11) is very close friends with another singleton with a lone parent, when they have sleepovers they do sibling stuff -play fighting, squabbling all that kind of stuff.
I'm in the same situation, only my DS is now 13. I think being just the two of you does give you more options - you can take them to a cafe, on a train, or to a show without breaking the bank. On the other hand, you have to work much harder at creating social opportunities for them, and you have to be VERY careful of not using them as an emotional crutch or a prop - you need to have your own life and your own friends as well as provide for theirs (not least so if/when he does bugger off abroad and leave me, I won't be on my own).
I'm one of four siblings, but the "looking after elderly mum" task always came down to me anyway, so having siblings doesn't always share family responsibilities. And it made me determined that looking after me when I'm older wouldn't be left to my DS anyway.
I think one of my least favourite parts is that I have to make important decisions on my own. However, I was telling my cousin recently how I felt overwhelmed with choosing a secondary school for DS (he is currently in year 6) and she kindly offered to come to a couple of the open evenings with me. I can't tell you how nice that was - to just have someone else there, to be able to share that experience and have another opinion to bounce off of.
On the other hand, it's great never having to compromise if I do feel strongly about certain decisions, issues etc.!
I also just love the freedom of doing what we want, we can often be quite spontaneous or just go with the flow because we haven't arranged to be home by a certain time or anything.
Great point ArcheryAnnie about not not using them as an emotional crutch. My dad was a single parent and did that with me. I find myself biting my tongue sometimes - it can be hard to keep all your feelings/emotions contained when there isn't always someone there to vent to.
I don't worry about not being a 'real family'. I'm lucky to have my mum and many cousins around and DS gets plenty of love and attention. And with no siblings, he gets me all to himself! No way could I spend as much time with him as I could if there were more children.
Another downside is the financial implications it's had as I'm the sole provider.
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