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Watch out, I'm slagging of my kids step mum!

(12 Posts)
operaha Mon 14-Sep-15 18:39:32

I am a cover supervisor. Just that, nothing extraordinary, never claimed to be a "teacher", I do what I do - it's challenging but rewarding and its MY JOB.
Kids step mum has never bought this, always tells them "she's a teaching assistant" .... No, I'm not, I have been, but I am not anymore.
She finally accepts what I do ( not sure why she concerns herself so greatly) and tells my ds's when their father is out of the room that it is "CRIMINAL" that I'm allowed to teach children when I'm not qualified to.
I am not, nor have ever claimed to be a teacher!! The definition of what I do is to deliver pre set work to students and manage behaviour, which I'm bloody good at.
The fact she has such disdain for teaching assistants upsets me too as their work and support is vital in some lessons!

Bit the point is, why is she saying these things to my sons sad
She often criticises me in front of them. I'm nice honest, I work my arse off, I adore my children, they're so well loved and looked after, why she hates me so much is a mystery. I've barely ever spoken to her.
Just feeling really offended tonight.

Bellemere Mon 14-Sep-15 18:43:22

She sounds like a nob. I wouldn't have known the difference between a TA or a cover supervisor or why the difference matters but she shouldn't be talking to your kids like that.

I wouldn't let it get to you - there's obviously something going on for her and it just makes her look bad.

PesoPenguin Mon 14-Sep-15 18:45:51

It's probably jealousy tbh. I'd just brush it off with a, "oh she's just being silly" or something and show her up to be the unreasonable one.

YouMakeMyDreams Mon 14-Sep-15 18:47:42

I do understand what you mean. Ex and his wife are for want of a nicer way to put it up their own arse. Her materialism will suit him juast nicely.
She is forever making sly little digs and clandestine comments. They have lectured on cutlery use and grammar both of which I took great pleasure I'm telling ex were the entirely wrong lessons to be teaching and if he wanted arsey I could forward him the correct use of cutlery and grammar rules. I don't usually care but the superior air in which these were done pissed me off because they came right at the back of me applying to college to retrain. His wife had said to dd that I'd find it an awfully difficult course. I did feel like phoning her up and asking if she knew I was privately educated and had a masters degree which I'm fairly certain was harder than the beauty therapy course she did which incidentally was what I was planning on doing.

operaha Mon 14-Sep-15 18:59:36

She is far more qualified than me (senior medical role) but so what! I'm not claiming to be anything I'm not. I am doing my degree with a view to teaching French, but she's probably perfect at that too!

She needs to wind her neck in. She always gels my ten year olds hair and he hates it but she thinks he's too scruffy i love his fluffy teddy head and he's my bloody son

MeridianB Mon 14-Sep-15 19:02:48

Just ignore her. She sounds insecure and silly.

SouthAmericanCuisine Mon 14-Sep-15 19:41:23

You might want to report your post and ask for it to be moved to lone parenting or another board - it's a bit provocative to announce that you are going to slag off your DCs step mum, on the step parenting board!

Sadly, there are crap step parents, just like there are crap parents. Pick your battles, if your DCs are upset or distressed by their step mum, then teach them good retorts, and talk to your Ex, but if they are happy that she just doesn't know what she's talking about, just leave her to it. It won't hurt for them to begin to learn that not everyone close to them shares the same opinions - and accepting that your stepmum doesn't agree with your mum is a lot easier than realising your parents have different views to their own, which may well happen as they get older! grin

operaha Mon 14-Sep-15 19:46:51

Whoops I did wonder where to post, apologies, was just a bit upset and couldn't say in front of kids.
I'm fine, I'm used to ignoring her now.

riverboat1 Mon 14-Sep-15 19:55:29

Well she sounds mean and spiteful.

Just one of hing because it is an issue thatcomes up frequently on this board - presumably you are not actually there to hear exactly what is said. So is it possible your sons exaggerate her nasty comments because they know on some level it pleases you to hear that she is nasty rather than nice?

operaha Mon 14-Sep-15 21:00:49

They might do. But I'd genuinely much prefer her to be nice!

LemonBreeland Mon 14-Sep-15 21:06:31

She is a stupid woman. It is a very bad idea to slag off a childs Mum to them. My step monster did this when I was younger, although not that often. It just made me dislike her. Did she really think I was going to agree with her?

m1nniedriver Wed 16-Sep-15 22:16:56

For what it's worth i never slag off my SCs mother to them this involves A LOT of tounge biting on my part because I can't stand her because she is their mother, I think it would upset them.

I do wish she had the same respect for me but when the 5yo says 'my mum doesn't like you' I suspect she doesn't bite her tongue the same as I do grin.

I wouldn't worry too much OP. DC will realise soon enough what she is like, she is doing her relationship with them no favours. Take the higher ground and be the bigger person. Your kids will realise soon enough.

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