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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Lone parents

16 replies

Claireandellie · 05/09/2015 17:07

Me and partner have been separated for 2 months we have a daughter 6 years .hes still living at home but says he's not moving till he saves up .hes constantly staying out and comes home the next day it's starting to affect my daughter I just don't know what to do .he says he doesn't want to be with me cause I go on at him all the time he puts mates first advice ???

OP posts:

Report

Lonecatwithkitten · 05/09/2015 22:05

Are you homeowners or tenants?
Whose names are on the deeds/lease?
Are you married?

campervan67 · 05/09/2015 22:08

Kick him out! Does he have friends/parents he can stay with? How can he expect to save up to leave if he is going out all the time?

alicemalice · 05/09/2015 22:10

If you jointly own the property, you can't just kick him out.

blanketneeded · 05/09/2015 22:10

It's very hard, but try your very best not to moan about him or criticise him to your daughter.
Perhaps you could take the line that mummy & daddy are friends although not together.
How close are you financially to being able to have separate places? Is he any good with your DD? Does he spend time with her?

Claireandellie · 09/09/2015 17:47

No he doesn't even spend time when she's here he's tired half of the time cause he has been out .the tenancy is joint but my name is the first person .hes took his iPad out with him since last weekend I went on the history today and son tune has been looking at handbags and dresses .ive asked him about it today and he's gone mad saying I'm snooping now he's saying we are deco over and that he's seeing someone he can't stand me .but he's still living here n saying he's not moving out till January helllp

OP posts:

Baconyum · 10/09/2015 22:05

When is the tenancy agreement up? Do you get on with your landlord?

Claireandellie · 11/09/2015 07:33

The tenancy is long term .its council so I would still be going to live here even when he goes he's just not making any attempt to go when tho he says he can't stand me and he is moving out makes it hard when he's here tho cause obviously still love him

OP posts:

Baconyum · 11/09/2015 10:11

Why not speak to them? I'm sure they've come across this kind of situation before.

Claireandellie · 11/09/2015 16:36

I will just take his name off tenancy I'm just so upset that after 8 years he can just leave us

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Claireandellie · 12/09/2015 21:03

How do you manage as a single mum on your own .he says he's moving out next week wherever I go everything reminds me of what it was like when we were a family I know I have to move on but it's hard any tips

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Baconyum · 14/09/2015 00:25

Emotionally it takes time and even then you can get a bomb dropped on you. Gradually you get stronger, but the relief of being out of an unhappy situation is almost immediate, well it was for me. And seeing your child relax is hugely reassuring.

Practically it can be tough, but in my case he'd tried to drum into me I wouldn't cope without him, in real terms there was a lot less work because I wasn't running round after him! Its hard work but I don't feel its that much harder than with his support because he was pretty insignificant on that score.

Financially. Ups and downs for me. Very tough at the moment but that's because I'm not working as my health is poor and there's no crystal ball for that unfortunately. But we manage, and I don't think it does dd any harm to appreciate that money doesn't grown on trees.

Hth

Flowerpower41 · 14/09/2015 04:57

Yes emotionally it does take time op.

You will just grow stronger give it as long as a couple of years I would suggest. In time you will prefer making your own decisions and feeling in charge of your life. You have nobody to put you down or to interfere or make controlling or deprecating comments.

You will get used to having the bed all to yourself and I truly prefer it....!

It is just way more work involved on your own. Also way more expensive. Those are the downsides. So it is more money and way more exhausting. That said I do not always sleep well as I am borderline Asperger's so I guess it does depend on people's circumstances. If you are full of beans and as fit as a fiddle then you won't have any issues with the workload involved.

Good luck!

Claireandellie · 14/09/2015 07:29

Even though he's here I feel relieved that he is moving out no waiting up for him to come home .no worrying if he's going to go out at weekends and leave us .i can't even think about going with anyone why is it so easy for men to move on

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Greenfaith · 17/09/2015 18:01

His a pee taker, kick Jim out, that's mental abuse. You will be better off alone then with him. His saving up but is looking for dresses and hand bags, get rid of this loser.

Claireandellie · 23/09/2015 19:26

Well after months of thinking he was going wife so one else staying out and him telling me he was with mates he had owned up only because she took a pic on Facebook n his arm was in the background .he said last week he was texting her now this week it's seeing and guess what he's gone to live with her but still not took clothes

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afreshstartplease · 26/09/2015 21:04

Honestly op you are better off without him and your dd does not need to witness any of this awful relationship

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