Absolutely fuming - what do I do now?

[EatMeSeymour]

Just received a message from eldest DC - 2DC are with XHB for 2 weeks.

Message reads: hi mummy, just wanted to say dad has been talking a load of crap about you again tonight and this is the last time we are coming here.

Background: DC1 (14) and DC2 (12) see their dad twice a year as he lives abroad. In between visits he skypes them sporadically and even lectures them during these calls instead of "spend time with them".

I can honestly say that I don't speak badly about him to the DC and try to be the peace maker, if you will, when they have a rant about him.

He continuously bad mouths me to them. No idea why he feels the need to as we have been separated 9 years, divorcd for 7 and he has remarried.

For the record, he has not paid any maintenance for over 2 years but I have said he needs to pay half of DC1's v expensivw school trip that I have already fully paid, so that may have set him off.

There is no contact order on place as we were divorced abroad and have since both moved to different countries complicated!!

Do I have to send the DC next time or are they considered old enough now to decide for themselves?

Any advice/insight much appreciated!!!

[EatMeSeymour]

Apologies for the typos - ranting on an iPhone is not condusive to perfect spelling!

[Lolimax]

He doesn't pay for them, he lives abroad and I'd say at 14 and 12 they are old enough to have an opinion. You've played nice long enough. Whilst I think the resident parent should support the children to see the non-resident parent he can't exactly do much if the kids choose not to see him, can he?

[EatMeSeymour]

True. The non-payment of maintenance is an aside as I have always said my DC are not "pay-per-view" but it all adds up to him being a cumstain on the face of humanity.

He promised the DC he would come over when we moved back to UK 3.5 years ago to see the house, their school etc but he has yet to set foot on British soil.....It upsets them greatly and you are right, I am done playing nice!!!

Fuck the dickwad.

[starlight2007]

I wouldn't make them go abroad if they don't want to...I would however not rock the boat too much while they are over there and not in your care...How long till they are home

[TPel]

They are old enough to decide for themselves.
I would keep lines of communication open but that is all.
He is hardly a great role model so won't be a great loss.