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Specific Issue Order, court next week

(11 Posts)
NoMoreParades Thu 30-Jul-15 22:00:07

I've got a court hearing next week with my ex which I'm rather worried about. It's only for a specific issue order so I can take my DC on holiday abroad for a week. Hopefully it'll be fairly straight forward, he has no real reasons for withholding his consent for DC to go. My ex, however, is a horrible verbally abusive bully who regularly tries to gaslight and intimidate me. I think he is hoping this will be his chance to tell the world how awful I am.
What I was wondering is if anyone has been through the process, or something similar? I'm worried ex will launch into all kinds of accusations and insults if given the chance. Thanks

Bellemere Thu 30-Jul-15 22:21:21

I really wouldn't worry. I cannot see the court refusing your holiday unless you are saying its a holiday but not planning to return or there's some kind of safeguarding issue. If he goes on a rant, it will count against him. Just calmly and clearly state your position and leave him to dig his own grave.

NoMoreParades Fri 31-Jul-15 08:24:35

Thanks Belle

I was in court recently for a child arrangements order. I can't imagine the process is that much different. He will get an opportunity to make a statement, but the court will expect him to stay focussed on the children and what they need.

If he launches into a tirade about you, it may look like they are taking him seriously. I'm told everyone has an opportunity to say their piece and they probably won't obviously admonish him for it and will look like they are listening, but it will go against him - they will see through it!!

Can't see any reason they wouldn't let you take them. They will only be be interested in welfare issues - i.e. are you putting them in danger, is there a danger you won't return etc.

NoMoreParades Fri 31-Jul-15 18:12:14

That's useful, thanks Giant.
I'm very anxious tbh, every chance he gets he has a go about something, I've tried to disengage but I still have to see him when he picks DC up. I'm pretty sure he'll launch into a tirade at court, really hoping he'll be told to shut up!

dunfightin Fri 31-Jul-15 21:48:25

Been there and done it. Nerve wracking when you know that ex is being totally unreasonable, but was in retrospect very funny. Judge's mouth twitched like Kenneth Williams as ex tried to argue against a week in the sunshine.

starlight2007 Sat 01-Aug-15 10:47:02

Good luck..No experience. Are you self representing. I was advised re going abroad..Don't have contact with Ex but got letter stating when I would be expected to return to work.. not sure if relevant or not...

Does he actually have an argument about why you shouldn't go? I am not sure how he will try to justify you shouldn't take your child on holiday abroad

NoMoreParades Sat 01-Aug-15 22:57:55

Yes Starlight, self representing, and no real reasons for not giving consent.

starlight2007 Sun 02-Aug-15 08:48:36

If you are employed. I would get a letter so you have an answer if he claims you plan not to return... copy of return tickets and length of holiday.. otherwise just look forward to him looking like a nob in court

Hey NoMoreParades - how did it go? You feeling ok about it all now? x

wheresmyfairygodmother Sat 08-Aug-15 22:36:27

Hope all went well OP.
I need to do this but don't know where the father of my children is (tho CSA do). Is it an expensive process? Do you do it all by yourself, filling in the forms to court etc? I am thinking about applying to change my children's surname to mine by deed poll which I think can be done under the same application, enquired about it yrs ago but it may have changed since.

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