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End of my tether

(6 Posts)
meh888 Sat 25-Jul-15 22:28:50

Some of you may have seen my threads. But I have had enough. If ex doesn't like or agree with something he claims that he has the right to stop it. If he doesn't like my friends or that I am taking ds on holiday in the UK then I am not allowed to do it as it involves ds and he's allowed to tell me not too. He is completly controlling my life and threatening court if I disagree. I've had enough. He hardly pays anything because I left so he shouldn't have to pay money. He's kept the house and I rent with ds. We have an agreement with contact set up for months now but because I have male friends ex wants more time with ds. I've always agreed to extra time but I'm.fed up of being threatened with court if I don't agree with anything. Ex always uses ds as an excuse to be involved with my life.
Sorry needed to rant it is seriously getting me down

starlight2007 Sat 25-Jul-15 23:08:47

How is he getting this information?

I say fight back..Tell him nothing..If he is getting info from DS then refuse to discuss it with him.

Also CMS for maintenance...

You need to find a way to put up the barriers...Also if he threatens court ignore it..It sounds like it is a threat every time he doesn't get his own way.

chubbleigh Sat 25-Jul-15 23:45:24

I've totally had this argument. I remember reaching point with it all during a row in an empty car park on Christmas Day, he was going to this that and the other and I said 'Do it, do it all, do your worst, bring it on!' None of it ever happened. Ever.
Take you to court for what, to get access he already has? Whilst you are there you can sort out the money as well, he might be required to pay.
It's bloody hard work sticking up for yourself but it's got to be done.

PatriciaHolm Sun 26-Jul-15 00:08:06

Well, firstly stop telling him stuff, and secondly ignore it. He doesn't have the right to stop you seeing people, or going on UK holidays. He could, if really bothered, go to court to try to stop overseas trips but his chances of success are low unless you are a flight risk. Stop giving him power.

Bellemere Sun 26-Jul-15 09:55:51

I agree with the others. Don't tell him anything. If he finds out from other sources, refuse to discuss it with him.

Go to the CMS for maintenance. Do not discuss this with him either.

His threat about court is empty. What does he expect the court to do? He has contact with his son and the court will not look kindly on his requests that you don't have male friends or take your DS on holiday. Those things will go completely against him.

Your ex gets to be involved in your DSs life, not yours. You have parental responsibility which means you get to choose how to care for your son during his time with you. If your ex has serious concerns, he should be approaching social services. He doesn't have serious concerns, he's being a controlling idiot. He won't change so you need to put firm boundaries in place.

meh888 Sun 26-Jul-15 20:35:52

We had a few words and I've told him to do everything he threatens, court the lot. When we split I suggested mediation but he asked to try and be friends and sort it out between us. He says he will go to court for 50/50 access if I don't do as he asks, he said that if he disagrees with something then it can't happen. Shared access won't work as he works until 6/7pm 5-6 days a week and we already have contact in place!! And I hardly tell him anything he finds out from ds or friends etc. Ive told him that we are not friends by any means, we are parents to ds and we should be discussing ds. Exes issue is that he things everything in my life effects ds so therefore he should have a say. Had enough now gone beyond breaking point. Thanks for the advise !

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