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Forgive me, class A prick taking me to court for contact. Courage needed.

(13 Posts)
SoulSista85 Mon 13-Jul-15 19:40:39

So my ex and father of my two DD's has decided now that he is dragging me through court (again) for contact.

The last time he dragged me through court was because he bullshitted the law about his psychotic behaviour in the stalking and harassment department. As if having to leave him with the children following years of DV and abuse wasn't already bad enough.

Stalking and harassment ensued when I finally grew a pair and told him that there was no chance in hell I was re-entering any kind of relationship with him after all the shit he had caused, inclusive of but by no means limited to drug and alcohol abuse, emotional abuse, violence, gas lighting, bad mouthing me to the kids when there was a contact arrangement in place, not providing for them and much, much more.

Since July last year when he got acquitted with a 2 year long restraining order, he has attempted initiation of handover contact once. Due to the danger to the children of letting them go unsupervised, I went back to the contact centre and said that he could have supervised contact. He turned it down when he found out that he would also have to pay for it.

Prior to that, his mother played "mediator" for a total of three weekend contact arrangements, following the last of which I got a call from children's welfare because upon being admitted to hospital with a "diabetic coma", he confessed to the medical professional that day that he had been using.

We have been no contact for legal reasons. I have kept the girls away because he is a danger to them and have been advised to do so.

His witch mother has been gradually causing further problems inclusive of calling social workers on me, harassing my family, technically cyber harassing me and without a shadow of a doubt, she is totally behind this.

The court date is soon, and in as much as I am confident that the one walking out with egg on face won't be me, I am in a head space I haven't been in for a long time and am not enjoying it one bit.

Sorry for rant, just need to get things off my chest and am open to advice, suggestions and experience sharing....would make me feel better, methinks.

Starlightbright1 Mon 13-Jul-15 20:56:08

Sounds awful...

I hope you have a good sols.. I assume that you are reporting the harassment to the police..

good luck

SoulSista85 Mon 13-Jul-15 21:47:29

I did report him, which is why he has a restraining order.

SoulSista85 Mon 13-Jul-15 21:48:50

And I have had an initial consult with a very good solicitor. At the moment whether or not he will represent me hangs on legal aid. Just feel like the black cloud is looming over again.

jml2012 Mon 13-Jul-15 21:49:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RandomMess Mon 13-Jul-15 21:51:56

Just flowers sounds like you've done an amazing job so far at keeping him away. As soon as he has to pay out for supervised contact (if it even gets offered) he'll probably disappear again...

SoulSista85 Mon 13-Jul-15 22:53:25

Thank you all for your input. It really helps as I real feel like I am verging on the unknown. I'd rather him not have any contact at all as he is quite literally poison.

It has taken so much time and effort to get my DD's and me back on our feet and away from that mess that I really don't want him to fuck things up further now.

The girls are 6 and 3. My eldest just recently started having pretty graphic nightmares about him again for the first time in about a year. I haven't told either of them what he is trying to do.

Biggest would have a melt down, so I'm trying to keep my game face on even though I am screaming inside.

Elfdoor Tue 14-Jul-15 11:17:29

Please speak to your GP about the eldest nightmares, log the fact she is effected by the issues so that if he does take you to court that can be used to show contact is not in the best interest of the children.

Big hugs to get you threw x

SoulSista85 Tue 14-Jul-15 23:36:39

Thank you elfdoor. As crap as this is going to sound, I hadn't thought of that.

Elfdoor Wed 15-Jul-15 17:23:01

The stress of it all makes it hard to think. Look forward to a day when the battle with him will be history and you don't need any contact with him at all.

SoulSista85 Wed 15-Jul-15 20:47:42

Have just been told by solicitor that because my disposable income is something like £21 over the threshold, I won't be able to get legal aid. angry
This is because my April pay included one isolated commission cheque plus my quarterly bonus. Ugh!
He did say that if my July payslip balances this out, I may be able to get emergency legal aid, but we would literally be waiting until 2 days before the court date to find out.
One more obstacle I could have done without. confused

Elfdoor Thu 16-Jul-15 21:02:25

Have faith the legal aid will come good if not you will find a way, I don't get it and I'm paying court costs by borrowing from my mum, I have had a years service from my solicitor but not paid for any of it yet. Not looking forward to that bill!
What date you in court I will keep everything crossed for you x

SoulSista85 Sun 19-Jul-15 22:39:30

Thank you, Elfdoor. The court date is 6th August. Shit!

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