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Shared custody of 3 year

(6 Posts)
MsPepsi Sat 11-Jul-15 20:09:32

My dd is 3.5. For the past year she went weds night, sat, sun night to her dads. I found that over time this became difficult so we've been doing tues, weds and sat. It's worked perfectly. But now he's saying he wants proper 50/50. So 3 nights, then 4 bights. I'm in such a as place thinking about this. I don't have a problem with it, as he's a fab dad, but I don't want to screw my dd up. She already calls mine mummy's house and then her dads daddy's house, so neither is home.

What do others do? Think?

Bellemere Sat 11-Jul-15 20:27:15

My DC say mummy's house and daddy's house but both houses are "home". Maybe trial it for a few weeks, see how it goes?

MsPepsi Sat 11-Jul-15 20:35:20

How old are your DC?

I have no issue him having her that frequent, I just don't want her to feel unsettled. I'm also clueless as to what split is best?

findingherfeet Sat 11-Jul-15 20:47:30

I think it's fine good even if it's what your DD wants but it gets problematic when it's about suiting parents needs.

My parents had near 50/50 split and it was not fun. Neither of them packed stuff for me assuming the other had enough. My dad bless him couldn't brush my hair, a small thing but something that bothered me a lot. There was too much obvious albeit polite animosity between them, I felt guilty whoever I was with or was without. I wanted to see my friends after school but I was expected to go and have dinner with my dad (in a very formal, let's talk way)

In my experience I didn't feel I had a home. I moved out at 17 with my now husband and I couldn't wait to 'settle' and make a home!

That turned into a personal rant but don't be scared to say no if you think your LO will be happier.

Bellemere Sat 11-Jul-15 21:27:21

We've had our arrangement since my youngest was 15 months. We split the weeknights equally and then alternate weekends. If he's already having her 3 nights a week then it's only one extra night a fortnight. Try it, see how it goes. We tried a few variations of 50/50 til we settled on this one. We tried having one day at the weekend each and we tried a different pattern in the week but it works best to have the days in one chunk rather than chopping and changing.

Starlightbright1 Sun 12-Jul-15 18:18:17

I do wonder what the issue is with him for one night a fortnight? is this a money issue?

At 3.5 in a year she will be preparing to start school so what ever you agree I think you need to think about how you will both get quality time once she is at school

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