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Friends with kids are separating - advice needed please

(5 Posts)
MrsY Mon 29-Jun-15 21:35:50

Some close friends are separating and want to be amicable and do it without solicitors as much as possible.
She will be staying in the house with their children and he will be renting short term with a view to buying a flat.
Can anyone give me/them an indication of how finances are usually arrange?
They are pulling numbers from thin air and neither knows what is standard or suitable. He has requested a lump sum, which will impact her mortgage which will then dictate how much maintenance he has to pay.
A bit of guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Starlightbright1 Mon 29-Jun-15 22:32:47

Honestly...these are both close friends..leave them to sort it out together. When it gets messy you need to be a friend to lean on .

lostdad Tue 30-Jun-15 10:29:58

If they want to sort things out amicably...they can.

The absolute worst thing is when friends weigh in telling them what money they are `entitled' to. Or what is `normal' when it comes to the kids spending time with either parent.

If they are married however there is paperwork involved (for the divorce and financial matters). But once again...they can agree things without input from anyone else. Be aware that once a solicitor is involved (and you will need someone to put the paperwork together) it can be a slipperly slope.

Be careful.

Mediation is a very good idea. Google National Family Mediation and contact them - they should be able to help get things down on paper and come to solutions if there IS any contention.

Also worth remembering that McKenzie Friends can do much that a solicitor does, albeit much cheaper - and we always work to get things done as quickly as possible without going to court...because it isn't nice.

Your friends are welcome to a few pointers if they want a chat (individually or together). Get in touch if it helps.

cestlavielife Tue 30-Jun-15 11:09:57

a solicitor is linked to a professional body so if things go wrong you have recourse. check the credentials of a McKenzie friend. some charge as much as a trained qualified and linked to a professional body solicitor or barrister.

anyways, tell them to draw up a parenting plan and a financial plan and then go to a third party (friend, mediator, solicitor...) to go thru it and agree.

www.cafcass.gov.uk/media/190788/parenting_plan_final_web.pdf is a good starting point

MrsY Sat 04-Jul-15 12:52:30

Thanks for the advice. They are in such a fog, but will pass on the links.

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