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Jealous mum

(9 Posts)
Law11 Wed 24-Jun-15 10:02:25

I just need to get this off my chest, I am a single parent to a beautiful 4 year old, her so called dad has never had nothing to do with her or ever seen her, but my problem is I love my sister to bits but I am jealous of her, she's got 2 beautiful boys and happily settled down with her partner, they always seem to have money and always go out as a family, they are currently booking a holiday at the minute, I want to be happy for them but apart of me feels jealous that I don't have that for my daughter, I hate feeling like this :-(

cestlavielife Wed 24-Jun-15 12:28:54

jealousy only eats you up and serves no purpose. ...ask GP to refer you to NHS counselling specifically CBT. just a few sessions should really help.

cestlavielife Wed 24-Jun-15 12:29:48

and you dont know what will happen round the corner - accidents, disease, death - everything can be wiped out in a second. be happy for your sister --around the corner she may need tour support and be in a much worse position than you.

Law11 Wed 24-Jun-15 13:11:34

Thank you for your reply, I don't feel like it all the time, it's just now and again, I do love my sister to bits thou :-) just feel like I've got so much to get off my chest don't have anyone to talk to, even thou I have a loving family

HeadDoctor Wed 24-Jun-15 16:17:09

I think it's fairly natural to feel envious of others, especially when we don't have what we would have wanted for ourselves. What I've found, though, is that often the reality of someone's situation is different to the picture they portray.
When you feel like this, rather than push it away perhaps try and look at it as a reminder to bring more contentment to your own life smile

Lioninthesun Wed 24-Jun-15 16:27:50

Yes, don't eat yourself up over this. My friend teaches 7yo's and said that half of her students are now in split homes. Not that this should be something you look forward to, but that sadly many relationships aren't all they appear.

Smug marrieds don't wash with me. I'm sure it is nice for part of it, but the figures speak for themselves. One person or the other usually wants something different within 10 years, so it's not a guarantee.

IME many friends of mine look to me for advice on whether they could go it alone (over half of my friends with similar ages to dd are not in good marriages and see me as some sort of guru on single parenting hmm) as they are desperately unhappy and too scared or unable financially to try going it alone. I certainly don't envy them any more having seen the other side. I do know 2 couples who rarely argue and seem to be pretty solid however. So it can be done, just not as frequently as people might like to think.

Law11 Wed 24-Jun-15 18:01:45

Tbf my problem ain't really about being a single parent.
Basically she's claiming to be a single parent, she does work but still gets some sort of benefits, plus her partner works so she has her wage, the benefits and her partners wage, im currently not working so also on benefits, I have applied for so many jobs, but because I can't work late nights or weekends know one is interested, so basically when she's booking holidays and buying stuff all the time that's when I get jealous,

Elfdoor Sat 11-Jul-15 20:56:15

She is taking the piss, if she is claiming she is a single parent to gain more benefits, sister or not I would be tempted to report her.
Benefits are to support low income family's not to make the selfish better off.
Your jealous feelings are justified, it's just not fair!
Even if you don't report her she will get caught out at some point.

Flowerpower41 Fri 17-Jul-15 05:56:44

I would argue that sadly some people just don't ever get caught out.

This is however quite scandalous and it is people like your sister who give the rest of us honest claimants a bad name and is the stuff the gutter press is made up of.

This is also why Concentrix was set up as it came out of assumptions and prejudice that single parents were randomly overclaiming and living with partners too. Tory prejudice! Don't get me started...... sad

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