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Advice please really need it x

(12 Posts)
Tia2005 Sun 21-Jun-15 22:55:59

I will keep this short .im 26+4 weeks and I have a 9 year old from another relationship she does not see her dad . She can be naughty sometime and cheeky and my partner the dad to this pregnancy is saying he don't eant to see my daughter and she's like the girls in town that he avoids and don't speak to when he's out hes said she's bad and she's not going to change and I'm not enough for her I've got so much going on right now I really can't see this working out he also has mental health problems which don't help we don't live together . He won't end things I think he wants me to end it , what would you do

thornrose Sun 21-Jun-15 22:57:36

Run like the fucking wind!

CainInThePunting Sun 21-Jun-15 23:00:50

He thinks the 9 year old daughter of the mother of his child is bad and won't change? I'm sorry, but he can't split the package.

Do you really want to be with this man?

griselda101 Sun 21-Jun-15 23:02:07

leave asap. it might be hard at the beginning but it's better being without a guy with MH issues when you have a newborn around, trust me.

you will save yourself a whole lot of grief if you get out ASAP.

how mean of him to slag off your daughter, despite her being a bit cheeky he should be trying to fit in with your family if he really wants to make a go of it.

Maybe she's upset with his behaviour and it is making her behave more like that. Sounds like he is the problem.

weeoclock Sun 21-Jun-15 23:05:16

It sounds as if your daughter is being pretty standard for a 9 year old, well - if my daughter is to go by, who can be the same.
I think you have many issues going on, but he definitely sounds like bad news - undermining you as a parent, very low expectations for your daughter, the mental health problems, not wanting to see your daughter - how will you have a normal family life? And how will he make your daughter feel if he shows he feels that he does not like being around her? Will he treat her differently from his biological child - sounds like it.
I know that it is not easy to end things and hate to advise someone to do so rather than trying to work things through, but from what you have said I think you need to take that step and then move forward in your life, and you obviously have already managed as a lone parent before.

Tia2005 Sun 21-Jun-15 23:05:47

I no I have to leave him I said to him what about when the baby's born he said he will come and go so basically when my daughter is not here he will come when she is he will go because he saying my daughter makes him depressed

Hidsup Sun 21-Jun-15 23:07:14

Leave him please. Your daughter deserves better (and so do you)

Tia2005 Sun 21-Jun-15 23:09:56

I just wanted things to be different this time He saying he felt like this for ages and he don't want my daughter to rub of on his baby I've really just had enough

lucidlady Sun 21-Jun-15 23:13:24

Tell him to do one. You must put your daughter first, she's a child. He sounds very unwell and not a healthy influence for any of you.

Starlightbright1 Sun 21-Jun-15 23:18:22

I am a LP..My DS and I come as a package.

He is not accpeting responsibility for anything and blaming it on a 9 year old is awful..

Was he like this before pregnancy?

I would end it then he can blame you and live in his world of self pity. I have suffered depression but someone blaming it on everyone else is using it as a manipulative tool.

I also imagine your 9 year old has a good idea how he feels which will not help her behaviour

weeoclock Sun 21-Jun-15 23:18:36

I don;t understand how he can possibly blame your daughter for his depression and being a prospectively bad influence on her brother!
Your poor daughter really doesn't need this man in her life. And you have to do the best by her.

cherryade8 Sat 27-Jun-15 21:14:32

Please show loyalty and love to your daughter and leave this man. It sounds like he's trying to turn you against your daughter. You can do much better and she doesn't deserve this bullying from him.

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