Anyone else feeling overwhelmed?

(21 Posts)
Shoegal0305 Sat 20-Jun-15 12:30:16

That's it really! Fed up with doing mum AND dad duties. Fed up with being so alone and having to cope. Fed up with having no family for support and friends are fab but obviously it's getting to that time of year where they are all off doing 'family' stuff. Fed up with the fact that the ex can just bugger off abroad on holiday with no stresses. Fed up with DS being constantly ill with bugs and viruses.

Just feel like I need a hug.....hmm

Shoegal0305 Sat 20-Jun-15 17:07:04

Anyone about hmm

Lonecatwithkitten Sat 20-Jun-15 17:20:21

I do, but wasn't here earlier as I have rare day when life is not at 10 thousand miles an hour.
He claims he would love to do the everyday crap ( can't because of CP issues) in truth he never did them there was a feral lifestyle. Whilst she kicks against it ( what 11 year old doesn't) DD thrives on routine.
The bad days she tells me I am ruining her life by ensuring she does her homework, I have horrific day at work etc.
I try to be kind to myself, to judge myself by what I have achieved not what I have not.

Shoegal0305 Sat 20-Jun-15 17:39:14

That's a good thing to think grin

DressingGown Sat 20-Jun-15 23:24:02

Yes. A lot of the time. Hang in there. Tough things happen to good people, but so do surprising and happy things. You never know what's around the corner.

MrsJackAubrey Sat 20-Jun-15 23:33:40

to be honest I'm so fed up that I came on to MN to find comfort in other people being even more unlucky or fed up as me. That probably makes me sound like a right shit. But it works. I now feel better. At least I have a partner (who I have just read the riot act to... why are the weekends so fucking dull/samey?blah blah). This too will pass. xx

Shoegal0305 Sun 21-Jun-15 08:30:30

Life is so hard sometimes ..... For everyone I know.....but it seems most folk have at least someone? Partner, parent, another single parent who can share the trials and tribulations.......I have nobody. hmm

Lonecatwithkitten Sun 21-Jun-15 08:41:46

Shoegal I am with you there. My parents are great, but live 200 miles away and I feel guilty for involving them too much. I only know 1 other single parent we do help each other, but we both work long hours including nights and weekends so it's tricky - though I am parenting both girls ( cheering and providing picnic) at sports day on Tuesday.
I often feel overwhelmed and tearful, but as I said earlier I try to judge myself on what I actually achieve.
Happy content child number 1.
Fed, clothed and attending school -2.
That I create a little space for myself -3.
Cleaning house etc is right down the bottom of the list.

Molly333 Sun 21-Jun-15 09:18:03

I understand , I have no one too, my ex sodded off and tells everyone he's tried so hard to see the children but I'm a bitch so he's had to give up blah blah blah . Anyway all his family supported him and refuse to see the children too . So fast forward nine years of feeling lonely sad angry and some , but life changed for me when I got counselling , I got me back and gradually managed to squeeze in me stuff, educate yourself put the kids in childcare , do it for you and them , you will benefit most. Find things you can do together eg cinema lunches out . You will survive I promise xxx

SmallMustard Sun 21-Jun-15 09:19:58

Me too Shoegal, none of my family live locally and so it's just me.

meglet Sun 21-Jun-15 09:25:14

yes me. my family moved away last year so weekends are hard going now.

house is a mess, but it's impossible to tidy up around kids and work.

Shoegal0305 Sun 21-Jun-15 09:41:07

I have a job I adore so that keeps me sane. It's time for me to just be me! I hate holiday times and bank holidays...... I've lost count of the times, when my son was younger, I've literally wandered the streets desperately trying to find company. It hits me real hard when I send endless texts to friends only to be texted back 'sorry we are away today my husband/partner/mum/dad is off so we are spending the day as a family'.....

It's a bit easier now DS is older (12) but I still get so desperately lonely.

Goodbetterbest Sun 21-Jun-15 11:45:30

Good days and bad days. Today is a bad day as XH is being an utter knob, picking and choosing his children and deciding what treats to give them after his fortnight away, whereas I am behind on my work, have a mountain of laundry, have just seen a mouse and have a baby bird fallen from it's nest in the garden which is driving the dog barking mad (literally) and I can't let him out because he will want to play with it.

Not that it would be any different if XH was here mind.

Oh and XH sent me a 1am text meant for his new gf. The one he denied having. Presumably the 'love you' at the end of the text doesn't exist either.

Shoegal0305 Sun 21-Jun-15 13:17:09

Goodbetterbest it's shite isn't ithmm

Just dropped my DS off at school he's gone off on a residential...... Every kid had mum and dad, or mum and gran or dad and granddad.....

My sons dad is abroad sunning himself. Get sick and tired of attending every single function alone. hmmhmm

Flowerpower41 Sun 21-Jun-15 13:17:12

Has anybody ever thought to join a spiritual group of some kind. I go to one weekly which really helps even though I am the only singe parent there the issues in life are much the same i.e. everyone can feel alone and everyone can feel overwhelmed.

Hope this helps.

Shoegal0305 Sun 21-Jun-15 13:17:59

Flower thankyou grin

Goodbetterbest Sun 21-Jun-15 15:15:27

BUT we make our own decisions. We answer to no one. We can teach our DCs our way and model good behaviour. We get to kiss their sweaty heads every night.

In many ways the less influence my cheating, deluded, misogynistic, lazy husband has on my children the better.

And we are thoroughly independent. We don't wait for anyone else to do what needs to be done. We get on with it.

It's our rules, our way. We are capable. Intelligent. Empowered. Strong. We decide what WE want for dinner!! We can do this! Who is with me?

(Takes empowered self to iron the 20 school shirts needed for the week ahead.) wink

Shoegal0305 Sun 21-Jun-15 15:36:02

Goodbetterbest thankyou grinthat has made my day xx

brittanyfairies Sun 21-Jun-15 15:49:23

Me, family and friends in another country, I'm here all by myself with DCs. I do have friends here and they're lovely but I haven't connected with them the way I have with the friends I've developed over the years - for me that's probably a language probably as I'm not fluent in the language of the country I reside in.

I normally feel crap when XH has been around or rattling my cage, fortunately for me he's not that invested in the DCs, so most of the time I'm fine.

I remind myself of how shit my life was when married and how much better things are now and I have two lovely DCs of whom I'm really proud and they bring me lots of joy. For years I've had to work from home so I can be there for the DCs, but the youngest one starts secondary school in September, so I'm going to go out and get myself a job, just so I can meet people. I've just finished a six month contract in a school and loved it. Not so much the teaching aspect, but speaking to people and having colleagues to integrate with. Having a set routine, I realise it's what I need to keep me sane.

DressingGown Fri 26-Jun-15 03:09:10

We are doing an amazing job. I found this and am trying it... http://digest.bps.org.uk/2015/06/heres-technique-that-helps-self.html So much of my life is just struggling with how I'm going to do things. Stopping and appreciating everything you're achieving and that it's because you're grrrrrrreat, doesn't happen enough.

DressingGown Fri 26-Jun-15 03:11:33

PS just did another nursery parents evening alone. Oh how I hate those things. All those happy couples chatting away and me; alone in the corner with a cup of squash wandering when I can leave. Sucks.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now