When to tell them you have a kid?!(6 Posts)
CrushedCan Mon 15-Jun-15 15:10:00
Lonz Mon 15-Jun-15 21:20:43
Savethesm Thu 18-Jun-15 18:18:54
Fairylea Thu 18-Jun-15 18:25:20
twirlypoo Thu 18-Jun-15 18:28:22
Sunflowersmiling Wed 24-Jun-15 22:28:57
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Recently I met a great guy and we've been speaking. I haven't told him I have a child as I felt it wasn't relevant at this point as things aren't serious ...my friends keep asking of I told him but it just hasn't came up in conversation..
If he's worth keeping, then you shouldn't feel pressured to mention it. But of course he will find out eventually. It shouldn't change things if you have a kid or not to be honest. If he hasn't asked, maybe it's not a concern for him?
I'd maybe mention it if the topic arose or casually sway the conversation if something similar comes up and say then.
It may well change things... if he thinks it through he will realise it changes everything!
I would tell him asap before you get attached in case he's not up for it.
I married a man with a child from a previous relationship and although I hope I am never in the position of our marriage not working out, I would never date a man with children again.
When I was a lone parent I'd usually just casually chat about my dd on the first date. Personally I wouldn't want to leave it too long as it's such a big thing and if they were the type to be bothered I'd rather know sooner than later.
It didn't put my dh off... married since 2012 now
I always mention is casually up front - just put something in the conversation about him so it's no big deal but that they know the score.
I'd be bloody paranoid if I left it longer than the first date as it becomes a bigger deal as time goes on I think.
I think you need to take a deep breathe and just be honest, because the longer it goes on, the harder it will be to say something. Besides, if this bloke is half decent it won't change how he feels about you. If it does, then tick the box and move on.
Why not write it in an email, something like - I havent mentioned before now, I have a gorgeous little boy/girl etc. and I dont want them involved in dating so I didnt mention earlier, however I really like you and want to get to know you better... etc.
Hope it goes well whatever you decide. x
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