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Hurrah for being a LP :-)

(24 Posts)
Wotsitsareafterme Sat 13-Jun-15 20:53:40

Not seen one of these threads for a long time....

Here are some things which are currently making me appreciate being a single parent.

We have bought a puppy. Exh wouldn't have allowed it until such a time that he deemed appropriate. We made a decision as a family. Dc are elated grin

Secondly no one can make me feel shit Just now by text. Just finished a year long relationship which I enjoyed but can't beat the feeling of having nothing to agonise over grin

Thirdly now I'm alone again I'm so enjoying the small things. When the dc are asleep I will watch casualty in my pyjamas with some treat food and think that's a cracking evening grin

What about you?

meglet Sun 14-Jun-15 10:54:37

my fridge is packed with healthy food. (no pasties or cheap meat).

kingsize bed to myself every night. even after 6yrs I still love it.

AmyElliotDunne Sun 14-Jun-15 11:05:15

We got a cat shortly after xh moved out. grin

I also trained as a childminder, - xh wouldn't have wanted extra DCs around the house when he was here, so now I am able to work at home and be around for my DCs.

I have cushions everywhere and regularly buy new pictures and bits to make my house seem cosy - pointless expenditure of which he would have disapproved!

I have coloured and patterned mugs instead of just plain white ones!

I regularly take my DCs out for dinner, he didn't like going out in public with them as they made too much noise and embarrassed him. This means I get a night off cooking duty too, yay!

I do get my king size bed all to myself when my DP isn't staying over. And that's the best bit, I now have a loving DP who makes me feel beautiful and cherished, all the best bits of a loving relationship, but only 50% of the time - the rest of the time I have my own space. The perfect balance!

Wotsitsareafterme Sun 14-Jun-15 13:23:28

I have a super king - and cushions and clutter. We also go out for dinner sometimes.
I completely get the cm thing. I feel the same about considering fostering when my dc are older grin

Flowerpower41 Sun 14-Jun-15 16:04:55

I would like a part-time boyfriend but am not seeeking to cohabit whatsoever. I much prefer having my own space and independence. It is just the strain of DIY tasks and technical issues e.g. setting up a printer/xbox etc. but I have cheap contacts whom I can pay for those once in a while.

I really have no wish to become someone's wife again whatsoever!

Also now ds is 10 he is far more interesting and the isolation I used to feel at home when he was younger is no longer there.

SurlyCue Sun 14-Jun-15 16:15:10

We have bought a puppy. Exh wouldn't have allowed it until such a time that he deemed appropriate.

Yay! Go you! I did the same. A few weeks after EXp left i went to look at puppies. We now have the best 4th family member in the world. He is 5 now and we wouldnt be without him. Soooo much better company than abusive, condescending, bullying EXP. And a much better bed buddy grin

I can decorate how i like, holiday where we like, budget how i like and know exactly where every penny is, not worry about a couple of grand of my wages being given to his various family members every time they put their hands out!

The children can go to as many extra curricular things as i can ferry them to. No moany bastard saying he'll take them then disappearing for the day or taking them elsewhere to spite me.

No rows over who is doing the dishes and who is doing bedtimes. I do it all and it runs smoothly with no over excited or crying children.

No social occasions ruined due to his drunkeness. DS (then 5YO) still talks about the night EXP almost set me and best friend on fire by throwing a bottle of lighter fluid on the BBQ. Not sure if DS realises that was the night before i asked him to leave.

Goodbetterbest Sun 14-Jun-15 20:15:04

<raises a glass>

Bloody marvellous isn't it?

Wotsitsareafterme Sun 14-Jun-15 20:40:04

Surly yay for puppies I hope ours makes us that happy grin
Yy to not having a bloke mess with the kids activities I completely empathise.

Not walking on eggshells. Ever

YourHandInMyHand Sun 14-Jun-15 20:50:47

Not worrying about money is the main one for me. Despite being on one income (and at points on just carer's allowance as DS has ASD) I have never been in debt whilst single, we've had lovely meals out, holidays, etc. This is because there's no one pissing the money away on booze and cigs or just being plain irresponsible with it.

Decorating how I want in light airy colours.

Keeping things calm and positive for DS. He's come on so much. smile

Wotsitsareafterme Sun 14-Jun-15 21:02:29

Surly yay for puppies I hope ours makes us that happy grin
Yy to not having a bloke mess with the kids activities I completely empathise.

Not walking on eggshells. Ever

Wotsitsareafterme Sun 14-Jun-15 21:04:32

I have also felt massively better off since split and my income isn't huge and I have to be careful but still I have no debt and don't go overdrawn but the kids have some really nice things and we have never had to turn anything down because we couldn't afford it grin

Flowerpower41 Mon 15-Jun-15 06:08:49

No toilet seat left up.

No snoring at night. No hogging the duvet either. No night disturbances by having to share the bed with someone means I get my lovely king size bed all to myself!

No loud voice to contend with late at night. Men invariably have such loud booming voices I find it hard to cope with beyond 8 pm when I prefer peace and quiet and ds is settling in his room.

If I am hot I put the heating off if I am cold I turn it on. Nobody to dispute it. Plus no man's mess to clean up after ....

All in all effing marvellous!

Goodbetterbest Mon 15-Jun-15 15:29:33

No skid marks on my bed linen.

I know!! confused

shoveitwherethesun Mon 15-Jun-15 15:34:02

There are too many positives to list grin

Wotsitsareafterme Mon 15-Jun-15 18:45:17

No swamping after drinking too much.

Wotsitsareafterme Mon 15-Jun-15 18:48:30

But also being able to make decisions as a family without authority defaulting elsewhere. This is just huge for us and is working so well. I love love love being able to say yes as much as possible to the kids yet they arnt even slightly spoilt behaving. Also asking them what they would like to do today and just doing it (within reason) is just fab. I realise looking back we just weren't a functional unit but the 3 of us are now.

Wotsitsareafterme Mon 15-Jun-15 18:49:05

Calm atmosphere in the house at lol times grin

Liberated71 Mon 15-Jun-15 18:54:02

It's hard work but I know it's mine to do so don't feel resentful of effectively being a lone parent when there were two of us. We are all happier and more settled/less anxious - and never have to eat sausage casserole again!!!

Flowerpower41 Tue 16-Jun-15 11:15:46

Blimey Liberated71 sausage casserole sounds like pants you are well rid!!

Wotsitsareafterme Tue 16-Jun-15 12:19:59

Sausage casserole....*shudder!

NashvilleQueen Tue 16-Jun-15 12:23:32

All of the above (including the puppy but minus the cat).

Wotsitsareafterme Tue 16-Jun-15 12:24:26

Sausage casserole....*shudder!

Notgoodwithwords Tue 16-Jun-15 12:36:17

All of the above.. Especially the Casualty & treat food!! (Salt & sweet popcorn current fave)!!

Not having to shave my legs if I don't want to or need to!!

No skids in the toilet.. Each used to leave train track sized ones!!

Not having to justify every penny I spend.

Not feeling guilty for lack of sex.. Never been over keen on actual intercourse so don't miss it.
(A little snog or fumble now & again would be nice but not worth the complications it comes with)

Given up dating now so no longer suffer that does he like me, will he text? Anxiety grin

Life is good at the momentgrin

Notgoodwithwords Tue 16-Jun-15 12:36:38

Exh not eachconfused

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