financial help where to turn to(11 Posts)
Hi I'm a single mother to my 11 yr old son and I work full time.
I struggle financially as it is, his dad pays nothing and has no regular income. I earn above the amount to qualify for any extra help but I still only take home £1300 per month and before I pay anything else I pay £500 rent straight away and then all the usual bills, petrol to get to work and childcare etc.
I'm currently 21 weeks pregnant and the babies father is not paying anything towards baby items. I really am struggling and terrified as I can't afford the child I've got never mind another one. I know this sounds awful and I know its my own fault I'm pregnant but I love my children to bits unfortunately I know they need more than just love.
Ive tried the local council and local charities with regards to crisis loans to buy baby equipment but with no luck they will only support you if you're on benefits.
Does anyone have any idea of places that may be able to help me? I have bad credit so I can't get a normal loan or anything. Even charity shops want a fortune for prams and things and second hand cots but I know I'd need to buy a new mattress and they aren't cheap.
It really is just getting me so down and I feel like a failure, I'm teary all the time due to the worry and I just don't know where to turn to. I really am trying my best to provide for my son and baby but I can't seem to make any ends meet. I'm terrified I won't be able to provide for my baby. Me and my son can cope when we run out of electric and have to use torches or we have to eat beans on toast for three days for tea but I know I need to sort my situation as a baby can't live like that. I just don't know what to do.
Sorry but you need to stop having babies with deadbeat men. Im a single parent (father became violent). I get no help as earn too much.
The last thing I would do is get preg a second time with another waste if space. Totally irresponsible and sorry to be harsh. What were you expecting?
If I were you I would contact the council to see about getting a council house as their rent would be cheaper.
Are you definitely not entitled to any tax credits at all? You surely would be with two children but I think your 500 rent will always be hard for you to pay.
You should check out your local gumtree for baby items. Some great bargains will be on there.
Also check mums2mum market for cheap clothes. Please ignore comments that you are irresponsible. It's unhelpful in your situation. Concentrate on what to do next rather than beating yourself up about whats happened. You sound you are doing your best by working f/t.
I really wish I had some better financial advice. Hope things improve for you.
Please don't ignore the comments as you must learn from this and realise that you have put yourself in a bad situation. You should value yourself more to be honest. I may have been harsh but i earn well and since my baby was 8mths have been alone ..paying 1400 per month childcare along with mortgage and bills. Each week I spend 15 on food. That's it the money is gone.
BUT what's done is done. It will be bloody hard for you and lots (more) sacrifices.
Have you got any family that can help with buying the important baby stuff?
Im sure you'd be entitled to tax credits - have you checked?
I don't think you are claiming everything you are entitled to. I only have one child and spent an entire day last week on the benefit calculator working it all out for full time work up to a 26k salary to figure out all sorts of things. In all cases I would have been able to claim some tax creds so I think you should check again especially if you have two children.
Ps have you started a CMS claim for ds 1?
Freecycle offer free stuff you need join and post an asking request. Once you are on maternity leave you will be on benefits so could you apply then? Once baby arrives you will get extra child benefit and tax credits you may well be better off not working than with.
Thank you for the helpful comments, my first time on mumsnet and I came looking for some friendly support and advice
You know nothing about my life thank you very much Astropuffs so please don't talk to me like I'm a 16yr old girl.
I needed help to conceive my first Ds as I have polycystic ovaries and was married to his father who unfortunately lost his job due to I'll health over a yr ago so cannot contribute anymore. Hence the lack of thinking I would ever get pregnant again.
My babies dad was made redundant and hasn't found work since so he cannot pay anything either.
I will check with the council about houses but was told before I moved into this house that I wouldn't be a priority as I work and £500 is quite cheap for the area.
Thank you again for those with advice I will also check out Gumtree
I just did a quick check and based on your income you should be entitled to around £200 per month in child tax credits.
Please check here as it will give you a rough guide to what you are entitled to.
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