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ex.peodafile. wanting to see kids.

(13 Posts)
babyalan13 Sun 07-Jun-15 15:34:05

Probably there is no one that's ever been in my terrible situation. But I have 3 children to a child abuser. (NOT TOGETHER) I got married to my new husband last year.
I have no contact with my ex. Only through solicors. We've been apart now near 5 years. My children are 8,6 and 4. All to this fuck! I was informed when I was pregnant with my youngest that he abused his niece many years ago.to cut a long story short. Social services helped me move and get a new house. He got sentanced to prison for 18 months!!! (A joke I no) for 13 accounts of indecent assault to a minor. My issue now is I don't want my children any were near him especially my daughter (she doesn't no anything about him) she calls my husband daddy. But am at lost he's fighting for contact and am fighting for no contact. But my solicit says he has a human right to see my children!!!!! I couldn't bear it!! The whole situation is effecting me mentally. What do I say to my poor children in years to come. Part of me even feels guilty cause am sure the older 2 children want to see him.any words of advice would be appreciated. I'd love to talk to someone who has been in a unfortunate same situation.

fuzzywuzzy Sun 07-Jun-15 15:39:01

I had to fight tooth and nail to stop contact, ex did not have a human right to contact. The children have a right to a safe and healthy relationship with their parents however if one is a threat to them then it's in the children's interest to be protected from that parent.

I eventually got an order which prevents ex from having any direct contact with DC he can write once a month to them (he doesn't unless CSA catch up with him).

Say indirect contact. Refuse direct contact on the grounds he's a threat.

Call SSwho were originally involved and get them to help letters to court giving evidence etc

GirlInterupted Sun 07-Jun-15 15:41:14

My ex is in prison for similar. Ss helped me by writing a report to say he shouldn't be allowed access, not even supervised. Get in touch with ss and I would get a new solicitor too.

babyalan13 Sun 07-Jun-15 15:44:57

I did contact as when he got out and they basically told me there's nothing they can do!!!!! Apparently because I myself aren't involved with social services!! Its apparently a legal matter now! I just get the impression all people are on his side!! Because apparently now he's classed as low risk!!! Wtf! And even children's court officer is advising my daughter needs to no!! She's 4!! And she's happy why rock the boat

GirlInterupted Sun 07-Jun-15 16:06:50

Is just ignore him. He'll have to take it to court to get access and once you mention your concerns a judge will order a ss report.

Nspca helpline offer advice to adults who are concerned about the welfare of a child. They were excellent when I need advice.

GirlInterupted Sun 07-Jun-15 16:07:55

I know I don't need to say this but under no circumstances allow him access to your child.

babyalan13 Sun 07-Jun-15 16:10:46

Aww I definitely won't!! Its already in court. I never go cause I can't bear it!! I just want him to leave us alone. Don't need him and near do children

VashtaNerada Sun 07-Jun-15 16:12:32

Could Citizens Advice Bureau help? One of the most important things right now is that you can present a calm, logical, sensible argument (I fully understand why you're not feeling calm though!). You need everyone involved to really listen to you. He may well be playing the 'crazy ex-wife' card, in which case you need to be the most reasonable person that judge has ever seen.

VashtaNerada Sun 07-Jun-15 16:14:06

Sorry if that was a bit patronising btw.

GirlInterupted Sun 07-Jun-15 16:14:33

How did he find you btw? Did ss tell him?

Starlightbright1 Sun 07-Jun-15 18:09:38

I would fight tooth and nail..Not turning up in court is not helping...You do need another solicitor...He doesn't have the right to a relationship with his child ..It is the child that has rights...Due to conviction yes you have every right to deny contact...

You need to be in court otherwise he can say anything. I would also contact SS again and tell him he is applying for access..

babyalan13 Sun 07-Jun-15 21:46:00

He new my address. But I just don't no. Social services won't do anything!! Cause I am looking after them. My solicor I'll be needed in court down the line. I can't bear facing him.its my poor wains I feel for. I just don't no what to do this is going on years its never ending

AnyoneForTennis Sun 07-Jun-15 21:51:26

Ask for a fact finding hearing. Involve CAFCASS. They are social workers to the courts, they will do a section 7 report

You DO need to attend court

Your 4 year old will probably need to be told sooner rather than later I'm afraid.

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