My LO has just turned two. We had a joint celebration last week. Today the ex took LO and told me he was going out for a meal with two members of his family to celebrate. LO was gone out for the whole day. When ex returns he says LO got lots of presents at the 'birthday meal'. I ask who was there and he lists 10 people - people he knows from work, old friends, family members - all out to celebrate LO's second bday. I ask why he didn't tell me about it and he says he did tell me!! I'm sorry but going out with a couple of family members is not the same as having a big celebration in a restaurant with people I don't even know. It really upsets/pisses me off as ex knows full well he didn't tell me exact plan (he has a big habit of lying or not telling me whole story) and it annoys me he's gone to the effort of planning a whole celebration. We only split up a few months ago, LO is only two and I would never even THINK of arranging a birthday meal for LO without ex. It would be too weird and sad doing it alone. I know people will say this is usual and ex's plan separate birthdays etc but just the idea of a little two year old having a celebration with all these people and I, the mum, is not there and not even aware of it! I'm also sure he told people there stuff like 'I didn't want to come' or 'I was busy" - blatant lies! I really hate my ex for doing things like this and I really wonder how anyone can be like this. I know LO probably had a great time and all but am I right in feeling so upset/amazed this has even happened?
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I'm sure it is because it's early days. It's only been a few months since you were a couple. This life is all new and it will take a bit of time for you to find your feet.
It is true yes that this is how it will probably be, but that's ok. It's just going to take time for you to adjust. It will be ok. x
You'll get used to it. Trust me, there's far worse you'll have to put up with than this.
It feels odd and it's v normal to be pissed off with every little thing he does and look for reasons to be annoyed but quite often exs can't do right for doing wrong and I think once the dust settles you'll see that you need to pick your battles 
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He should have told you so it wasn't a shock. But, have your reactions in the past meant he decided not to?
I'm another who thinks its normal. But also one who still feels sad at not bein with dd at birthday celebrations 10 years on 
It's okay to feel sad, but not to blame him. He's trying to find his way as a separated parent too. And it's lovely for your dd to have two big celebrations!
I'm sorry but I really don't get the outrage either. You are separated - why on earth should you expect to be included on days out with his friends and family when you already had a joint celebration for your DS's birthday last week? 
I think perhaps you are struggling with the transition from being in a couple to being single and that is understandable, but what he did really wasn't unreasonable. It makes no difference whether there were two people there, or ten, or twenty. He isn't obliged to give you every last detail of how he spends his weekends and with whom. I am sorry you are upset but you are in the wrong here with your unrealistic expectations, not him.
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