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Reasonable amount of maintenance?

(20 Posts)
sanityisamyth Sat 02-May-15 12:51:05

I have now gone through CSA/CMO but wanting to get some opinions/reassurance first.

I have a 16 month old son. His father and I both work full time. Son is in full-time nursery so that costs between £830 and £1000 a month (depending on if it's a 5 week month). We both have childcare vouchers from our wages (salary sacrifice/tax dodge!) to a value of £243 each month. We both earn similar after tax and vouchers of around £1750 a month.

STBEH jointly owns house I still live in with our son and lives rent-free with either his mother or, more likely, his girlfriend.

Each month so far I have got different sums of money from him but none as low as this month. All I got this month was half the mortgage (and associated insurances). He is going to pay the childcare vouchers to the nursery and that's it. No extra money for our son. He is paying half the mortgage but he has a vested interest and a legal entitlement to it.

He pays nothing in kind - no clothes, toys, nappies etc. he has never bought our son anything - even for Christmas and birthday.

Is this right? Just half the mortgage and the childcare vouchers?

Thanks in advance,


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Superexcited Sat 02-May-15 12:58:09

How much is the mortgage and insurances? He does have a vested interest in the mortgage but he could stop paying it which would leave you to pay it all or leave both of you facing bankruptcy.
It would be better if you went through the CSA (or whatever it's replacement is called) to get regular maintenance and you need to either but him out of the house or sell it, split the equity and move somewhere affordable on your sole income. The current situation is leaving you at the mercy of a man who is paying what he feels like month to month.
Are you getting child benefit and tax credits?

Superexcited Sat 02-May-15 12:59:21

Buy him out (not but him out)

sanityisamyth Sat 02-May-15 15:16:51

The mortgage is £536.45 so he put £285 in my account purely to cover half the mortgage, life insurance and buildings insurance.

CMO are going to do a calculation but I don't think that sounds right to just be covering his half of the house!!

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sanityisamyth Sat 02-May-15 15:17:53

I'm getting child benefit but earn too much for any other support I think.

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NightsOfGethsemane Sat 02-May-15 15:29:02

The fact that he lives with his mother so has reduced living expenses as far as rent etc is neither here nor there in terms of the maintenance he owns your son.

Generally, maintenance is calculated at 10 to 15 percent of the NRPs income. The only thing that has any real impact on this calculation is the number of times your ex has your son overnight in any one month. So If he has your son, say, eight overnights a month, he might be expected to pay slightly less than if he had no overnights.

You do need to get the mortgage thing sorted though - either sell or buy him out. It is complicating your situation.

Mini05 Sat 02-May-15 15:43:14

Why don't you look at remortgaging say over more years to be able to buy him out, that way he as no claims on it. He may be tempted by the money.

sanityisamyth Sat 02-May-15 16:54:35

Thanks for the reply. No bank will give me a mortgage because my credit rating is too low. Husband took out loans and credit cards in my name without my permission and maxed them out and didn't pay them off. I'm financially screwed.

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Imperialleather2 Sat 02-May-15 17:01:58

Unfortunately I think the notion of an occupational rent applies here He's not living in the house and therefore you have the benefit of sole possession.

Maintenance can easily be worked out online I've just done a,quick calculation and it looks as though he has given you more than the minimum.

it could be that he has more to lose than you in turns of credit rating if you can't pay the mortgage but I am.Sorry for the shittest situation you find yourself in in.

sanityisamyth Sat 02-May-15 17:03:50

Thanks smile I phoned CSA/CMO on Thursday and they said they can't work it out online or over the phone because of the vouchers.

I don't think I can do this much longer.

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Starlightbright1 Sat 02-May-15 19:49:33

what is reasonable is dependant upon what he earns...

Have you had a conversation with him about this what has he said ?

sanityisamyth Sat 02-May-15 19:57:32

Every time I try to talk to him about money he refuses to talk to me.

I'm still so angry and hurt that I can't have a decent conservation with him face to face. It's easier to just bite my tongue and newer "yes" or "no" to whatever he says.

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Starlightbright1 Sat 02-May-15 20:24:02

Maybe have a conversation through email then so you can respond without loosing your cool but been able to think rational responses..

sanityisamyth Sun 03-May-15 06:16:22

That's what we're doing Star. We either text or e-mail now to leave a paper trail and to keep a lid on things.

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T8shy Sun 03-May-15 10:33:58

This is quite helpful

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse Sun 03-May-15 10:37:26

Even if you may not be entitled to child tax credits, you may qualify for the childcare element. Go to the website and do the online calculation.

sanityisamyth Sun 03-May-15 11:23:46

Thanks everyone smile I didn't know you could qualify for different elements. I did a quick look yesterday and tax credits might now be better so have sent off for the forms.

I've also filled a new child benefit claim form so I get child benefit straight away into my bank account rather than relying on husband to transfer it from his into mine!

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sanityisamyth Sun 03-May-15 11:25:15

T8shy they can't tell me on the phone or on the online calculator because of the childcare vouchers. It's not at all straightforward. I've got to do a formal agreement through CMOptions hmm

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FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse Sun 03-May-15 11:30:07

Oh, one thing, you can't claim childcare tax credits as well as childcare vouchers (since you'd be getting two contributions to the same thing), but if you're entitled to tax credits for it, it's usually the case that you're much better off taking the tax credits. I think they'll pay up to 70%.

sanityisamyth Sun 03-May-15 11:45:15

Thanks smile yeah I'll see what happens with tax credits and stop vouchers if necessary. If I can get majority of childcare paid that would be a life saver grin

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