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How do you split time between parents?

(9 Posts)
hstear Fri 27-Feb-15 23:05:04

Any advice would be great. I am new to netmums.
Let me set the scenario.
I split from my ex 2 years ago. We have 2 children 3y & 8y. My ex lives with & has a baby 9m with the woman he was having an affair with. It was very upsetting at the time for the children and I but I have always kept it civil, involved him in their school stuff & pastimes and tried to maintain contact between him & the children.
Over the last few months my eldest has started getting really upset about having to go. He is in floods of tears and says he misses me too much and gets bored. I had a meeting with his dad to discuss it and that part appeared to go well. However at the end he said he wants them more. They currently do every weds & alternate weekends Fri to Mon. During holidays they spend odd weeks at a time. We both work and his hours vary.. a lot. After the weekends & weeks they get really clingy to me. I don't think they'll cope with it. My eldest is adamant he doesn't want to go more.
What do other people do? It breaks my heart to see him like this. He is a child not a CD collection.

OP’s posts: |
TarquinMoriartyGruntfuttockII Sat 28-Feb-15 05:06:38

Hi and welcome to Mumsnet.

The arrangement that you have at the current time seems to be the usual one for most people that I know of in your situation.

Is the arrangement you have court ordered or a private arrangement?

hstear Sat 28-Feb-15 09:13:29

It's a private agreement. He now wants every thus too so he'll get 5 nights in a row every fortnight. He was always at work when we were together so I have always been main care giver. I think they'll struggle. They are already clingy when they come back

OP’s posts: |
hstear Sat 28-Feb-15 09:14:11

Thank you for your welcome and response x

OP’s posts: |
BlackeyedSusan Sat 28-Feb-15 11:24:31

it's MUMSNET. whatever you do, do not mix them up on the main boards, you will start a deluge of posts about tickers and glittery stuff. grin

BlackeyedSusan Sat 28-Feb-15 11:25:14

sorry, when I have woken up a bit more I shall try to be more helpful

hstear Sat 28-Feb-15 14:05:20

I'm sorry BlackeyedSusan I am probably being extremely dense but I don't understand about the main boards !? smile

OP’s posts: |
HeadDoctor Sat 28-Feb-15 18:48:45

It's pretty normal for kids to be clingy when they come back, especially if they know you aren't happy about the contact arrangements (you'll be surprised what kids pick up on).
Blackeyedsusan is probably referring to your comment about net mums. This is mumsnet.

Quesera21 Mon 02-Mar-15 19:17:58

Meet him half way - offer one Wed - Mon per month and the other weekend stays the same.

See how it goes over the next 3-4 months then discuss.

You may not like it but, a point blank refusal will just make life difficult for you.

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