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Tips please(5 Posts)
In approx 1 month I'm going to be a lone parent. DD1 is nearly 4, DD2 is 3.5 months.
Any hints or tips??
What should I make sure I do while I still can?
Limited local support/babysitting options & about to be skinter than I have been in 15 years
do this, you might get a pleasant surprise;
make sure all of your details are up to date with everyone and all of your important documents and valuables are in a safe place
see a solicitor if you haven't already to make sure you are treated fairly regarding contact and maintenance (first appointment is usually free)
change the locks if you are staying put
remove any financial association to your ex on your credit report
make a social timetable and try to stick to it, toddler groups, book club, knitting club, church coffee mornings all cost not much and will provide valuable support; you might not always feel like going but do your best to build a network - talk to parents at the park etc - it takes a village
if you can at all create an emergency cash fund then do it now, make sure you have your own bank account etc and cancel any joint accounts or credit cards etc.
ask family and friends to come and help out, if they are far away get them to come for a weekend soon, ask them to bring wine and arrange a date and put it in the diary so you have that to look forward to.
it might be fun, if you have been in a crappy relationship then being single can actually be a huge relief, bed to yourself, tv remote all for you, no more having to buy gifts for the in-laws, the list is endless
When you have done the benefits calculator make a very honest budget. I did worst case scenario budget when I first separated and a few months in I could ease off a bit.
Make sure you claim everything and unless you are on mat leave would have thought you will get housing benefit.
Thank you. Will try benefits thing again once we've agreed maintenance as it seems to be part of the calc.
I know once he moves out I need to claim council tax discount & once I go back to work I might get some help with childcare & I can't wait to cancel sky movies which we never watch!
Haven't done any baby groups yet with dd2 - keep planning to start but then I love being at home with her so much I find reasons not to. Have a small but select group of local friends, and the ones that know so far are being brilliant. Do need to expand further though once dd1 goes to primary school in sept & I'm trying to navigate 2 drop offs & pick ups etc - bound to need favours
Am quite positive about options etc at the moment but am sure the reality is going to hit me at some point!
Positivity is good, procrastination is not!
Cancel any unnecessaries now, today - make the calls, it's done. Take charge and get stuff done, any money saved is money in the bank, why do you have to wait a month? Also maintenance is not included for benefits like child tax credit and forms take ages to fill and action so don't delay on that sort of thing, get a head start or you may have a month or two with no money at all and increase debt etc.
Are you a bit in denial or still unsure if you are breaking up? Have you spoken to a solicitor? If not then you need to stop putting things off, make a list, do it, you will feel better once it is done!
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