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Feeling lost and more alone than ever :(

(14 Posts)
LonelySadMum Wed 11-Feb-15 23:38:22

Hi to whoever maybe listening. I really hope someone is.

My first post and I have to say I feel a little nervous about posting but I am so fed up of feeling alone, lost and forgotten that I thought it best for my sanity that I do.

I'll start by telling you a little about myself.
I'm a 41 yr old single mum to a beautiful 4 yr old who is going on 14 smile I have one friend who generally doesn't understand me or my circumstances as she has fortunately never had to struggle as I have and I don't have family to fall back on for support.
Dad has never been involved or even met my son so bottom line, I am well and truly on my own.

I spend all of my time either with my son or alone and unbelievably walls are not the best conversationalists. Great to rant at but there's only so much of that you can do each day.

I'm feeling very sorry for myself currently and don't know where to turn, so here I am.

Not really sure what else to say without moaning, complaining, bitching and being depressive. I really dont want to feel like this and I most certainly do want to get a life for myself but I'm not sure where to start. I'm really hoping some kind soul is watching right now, and not tucked up in bed sleeping, who can say a kind word or two reminding me there are people out there and that I'm not alone in this unforgiving world.

Miss Lost

QueenB14 Wed 11-Feb-15 23:43:57

You are definitely not alone! Chin up flowers

So weird how you can spend all of your time with the one person you love more than anything but feel so lonely isn't it. Hope you're okay

LonelySadMum Wed 11-Feb-15 23:58:44

Thanks for responding. The sight of your voice is a pleasure ..... There is someone out there smile and I will be OK, have to be, no-one else to look after the little man. Just feeling down and in need of a friend I think.

AmantesSuntAmentes Wed 11-Feb-15 23:59:24

Another one here with no (adult) family and my friends are hundreds of miles away smile

My youngest is a little older than yours and my eldest is just moving into her teens. I have to say that dcs are fantastic company as they age! It was maybe more difficult during the younger days but I've always enjoyed being alone. Well, as alone as I can be with four dc and a multitude of pets!

Do you find the evenings difficult? I took up a number of hobbies and interests to keep my mind occupied, particularly during the hours between their bedtime and mine.

It does get easier. Are there any courses in your area, which might interest you? They can be a great way to meet new people, with similar interests.

LonelySadMum Thu 12-Feb-15 00:09:36

Hi AmantesSuntAmentes

The evenings are the worst, I've read hundreds of books, sewn until fingers gone numb and I've even made candles to keep myself busy during the hours waiting to go to bed. I've thought about courses and such but with no sitter available its become next to impossible to consider doing something like that for myself at present. <sigh> I'm sounding like such a defeatest when I read back what I've typed. Maybe I just need a good old fashioned clip round the ear grin

AmantesSuntAmentes Thu 12-Feb-15 00:24:42

No, no clips! You've hit a brick wall but at least it is brick and not steel grin

I've learned crafts too. I highly recommend needle felting. It's extremely cathartic! Do you work at all?

MrJollyLivesNextDoor Thu 12-Feb-15 00:30:20

You're not alone flowers

Although Christ knows it does feel lonely on times - me and a friend of mine (also a single mum, met her in the park about a year ago) were only saying this morning how lonely it gets sometimes in the evenings...the only people who really truly understand it are people in the same situation.

You will most likely feel less lonely if you can make some friends in your area - does your DS (mine is also 4 going on 14 btw grin ) go to school yet? If not, is he at nursery/playgroup? Could you try and strike up a friendship there?

LonelySadMum Thu 12-Feb-15 00:32:12

Lol @ no clips smile

I gave up my career to raise my son so now I am currently on benefits. Not a position I ever expected to be in and not one I enjoy. I certainly dont like being tarnished with the brush that many paint the picture of people on benefits. Trying to plan for going back to work once little man is in full time school but not looking forward to potentially working a dead end job although I am taking steps to maybe getting myself on the track of self employment especially now that I have acquired so many crafting skills grin

I've not tried the needle felting but that can certainly be added to the list

AmantesSuntAmentes Thu 12-Feb-15 00:58:18

Have you considered a part time college course in something new? I fitted a couple in around free part time nursery hours, when mine were younger.

I actually did set up a small business in one of the crafts I learned! Unfortunately, I now have a chronic health condition which is proving to be difficult to work around - but I will find a way. More out of sheer stubbornness, than determination!

So, I'm currently supported by the state, which I don't feel too uncomfortable about. Mothers with partners who work, are not judged for not working, after all. I don't think single mothers should be judged either!

LonelySadMum Thu 12-Feb-15 01:10:16

MrJollyLivesNextDoor I have managed to chat to a couple of mums at the nursery gate but tbh most of them are a good 15 years younger than me and its difficult to really find anything in common on an adult lvl. There's good things for having a child later in life like having more knowledge and experience of children but the downside nearly all other mums my age have children coming up to their teens

AmantesSuntAmentes I hadn't thought to look for a course during the morning hours whilst son is at nursery but I will do now smile
I'm sorry to hear about your health but pleased that you seem to have the determination and motivation that I so desire. I'm concentrating on your NM name to try and draw some of your energy to me and your last statement makes me feel so much better BTW. Its true stay at home mums with a working partner are not judged and you're right....neither should we flowers

Iflyaway Thu 12-Feb-15 01:21:18

Chin up, love. You're never alone on Mumsnet! smile

I'm a lone parent too, was around your age when I had DS and his dad was not around at all. Left when he was 6 months. (long story).

It does get better when they go to school, you'll likely get back into work which will give you adult interaction again.

Hey, and don't dismiss the park! I actually had a fling with someone (I knew via via) I met in the park lol.

LonelySadMum Thu 12-Feb-15 01:35:49

I am certainly learning that mumsnet is a good place to be when you're feeling low. Its not long before kind words (along with some of the silly ones I've read on this site) make you feel better and its always nice to know that there are others out there feeling or who have felt the same at some point.

Oh and I'll certainly be keeping my eye out a little more when at the park from now on lol

MrJollyLivesNextDoor Sat 14-Feb-15 22:19:13

Hope you're feeling a bit better LSM ignore the commercial shite that is valentine's day

I met some really good friends through netmums (shhhh! grin ) via their local meet a mum thing.

I didn't post on there myself but replied to a couple of people on there - both of whom I am now very good friends with. Worth a try - if there's no-one on there that you would like to meet up with maybe post something yourself?

Also check out local sports type things for your DS - football tots, sports tots, gymnastics etc this can also be a good way to meet up with people in a similar situation, you just need to get out there a bit and strike up conversations, see what happens.

onionlove Sat 14-Feb-15 23:08:11

Hi LSM I didn't see your post until now, a lot of what you say resonates with me, I am 43 with 2 young dcs I do have good family support so lucky in that sense but am still lonely sometimes and feel out of place, am keeping myself to myself with regard to school gate as I have already noticed its clicky and gossipy, anyhow just want to send you a hug and tell you that work I have found is my saviour as it keeps me sane, my job is pants but the social interaction is great, wish you well honey keep posting ill look out for you x

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