Ok this is a long one. We separated just over 2 years ago and it has been awful ever since. Kids are 3 and 5 and see their dad on an adhoc basis. In my opinion he only wants to see them when it suits.
His parents went to my parents in an attempt to sort out access as we cant agree on anything ourselves (every single conversation turns into massive arguments).
He wants them one evening a week and one day at the weekend. he stated a number of dates throughtout the year when he had other things to do and didnt want too see the kids.
Despite me having no opportunity to say what suited me, I agreed to it.
He then said that these days we agreed on were likely to change due to football commitments.
When I said that I wasnt happy about this (we have had no contact , its all been thorugh our parents) my own parents told me that I was being a useless mother and selfish by not agreeing to his changes. "how could i expect him to give up football"??!! They said I need to put the kids first and stop thinking about myself.
I am so angry. I feel like I no longer have a say in my own childrens lives. Anytime I disagree with anything he dictates, my parents tell me Im a useless mother.
I dont see any point in me being here anymore. The kids dont need me, they have their grandparents and their daddy (when it suits him).
According to everyone else, im a useless parent.
Can I also add, i have never went anywhere without my children, never ever left them with a babysitter or left them with anyone other than my own mother. I work 3 days a week and the rest of my time is spent with my children.
I dont know what to do. I cant cope iwth this. I have been bullied and guilted into agreeing to everything he wants. and its still not enough. I am sick to my stomach.
someone please help me.
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Am at my wits end
JessicaJones35 · 11/02/2015 13:58
Your situation spunds like a carbon copy of how mine was down to the age of the children although thankfully minus the parental involvement.
Like Thisisyourlife suggests, this needs to be more formal footing. Keep things in writing - discuss mediation and when that fails, speak to a solicitor (you can normally get first half hour/appointment free!).. you then understand where you stand.
I ended up being we this route and he tried to manipulate that too - still making demands up until the final seconds before finally finally signing the arrangement order today.
Get serious about this - your DC need you and more importantly need you to fight for what is in their best interest which doesn't sound like your ex or either set of parents.
I wish you luck - it is a shitty place to be but when you get out the other side, the fight is worth it.. 
Sounds like my ex OP. After a year of him messing me about not having contact at the agreed times (the times that he had insisted on) I told him that he had to stick to our agreement or I would stop the contact.
So he took me to court to get the contact that I'd agreed to previously 
and then still didn't stick to it, so I would arrange to work when he was due to have the DC and then he wouldn't have them, over and over again. We went to court 3 times before I realised there was no way of making him stick to the agreement. The courts insisted that I make sure the DC were available for him but they would do nothing to make him have them 
But on the subject of your parents OP tell them you'll sort out contact yourself. They're not helping you, or your DC, so you don't need them to be involved at all. Their behaviour is contributing to you feeling the way you do and you just don't need that right now.
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