My lovely friend's husband walked out on her out of the blue a few months back. She has two DC's who are very young - nearly 4 and just 1. Can anyone recommend any books for her that will help explain the new situation to them, and manage the change for them? There's plenty that's appropriate for older children with better comprehension, but little on how to handle it with such young children, so would love to hear if anyone knows of one.
Ooh, good suggestions - I'll pass them on. But thinking about it I'm not sure how much time my friend would get to create the story for them? I'll suggest it anyway.
Has anyone read any books that helped them help their children (iykwim)? I think she's looking for a bit of guidance. She had a traumatic childhood herself (father leaving, Mum not coping etc.etc.) and I think she's fearful and looking for help to avoid history repeating itself with her children.
It isn't me btw, it really is for a very dear friend - though I appreciate how often 'for my friend' is a euphemism here on mumsnet
she should go to GP and seek counselling for herself so she can talk thru her own childhood and how it relates or not to now. nhs counselling she should get six sessions for free. or she can seek her own private counselor. a good therapist will work with her to make sure she feels confident about the future. if she feels confident and fine about it then it is likely her children will too - so she should read books for herself and get some support via a therapist espec to go back to revisit her childhood and talk thru why it isnt the same. she can go to a therapist and say, how can i make sure my dc don't suffer like i did? start from there.
you could ask your friends for the details and create something for her child in age appropriate language.
where she lives, when she will visit dad, where etc. simple stuff.
if her child is showing signs of severe anxiety she can ask for family therapy for her and child together. but it sounds like she is worrying about it....not so much the child. ?
My friend has already had counselling I think, and has said that she doesn't particularly want to go down that route for the children (not sure how she feels about going herself again?). I will ask, and also suggest the role play/drawing however -that sounds like a good idea, and very age appropriate.
my way (london) we have a service that lets you call a child psychologist and chat for 45 minutes - they send you written summary if that kind of thing is available that would be helpful so she could call and ask how can I xxxxxx etc.