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(3 Posts)
Blankspace Mon 12-Jan-15 23:47:32

I've changed name because my ex knows I use mumsnet and I don't want him linking this with other things I've written should he come across it.

I have a problem regarding my ex and it is eating me up. He has our child a couple of nights a week and I am happy with this. They love each other and I want them to have a good relationship. But I can't stand the idea of his mother seeing our child, of her having any influence over him.

There is a huge amount of background here: she is utterly toxic and controlling and caused endless problems in our relationship. My ex knows what she is like (he is the scapegoat to her) but will not have a word said against her at this time. Before we had our child we talked about how we would not let her have the kind of control she has with her other child's family. I was not prepared to live my life on her terms, but now I cannot do anything about it. I was keeping her at bay but know she is never away when my ex has our child, she never gives them any time alone.

I know there is nothing I can do but it is eating me up, the thought of her with my child, interfering with his routine and forcing her opinions on my ex. I am becoming increasingly bitter towards my ex because he knows exactly what his mother is capable of yet is doing nothing to protect our child.

America1 Tue 20-Jan-15 06:36:31

Have u spoke to him about this?

I have the same future problem the father of my baby iant interested which im pleased about aa his family are toxic but im sure there will be a day when they all change their tune!

Ijustworemytrenchcoat Sat 24-Jan-15 19:25:16

Well he knows how I feel, but still mentions her. For example she is always there waiting at the house when he has our child on Fridays. It is his bath time when they get back but he said she was asking him to keep our child up late. I am not routine driven, but when a child is tired they are tired. It messes his naps up the next day. He has also talked about how when he was going to soft play with our child but she just wanted to go for something to eat instead.

It all sounds so petty, but she is a nasty person and I can't forget all of the stunts she pulled when I was still with her son, or the way she was so overbearing with our child.

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